We cannot help everyone in the world that needs help, so we should only be concerned with our own communities and countries. To what extent do you agr ee or disagree with this statement?

It is a practical approach that we can not help everyone around the
world
Use synonyms
that needs help
but
Punctuation problem
, but
show examples
we should be concerned about them
Linking Words
Punctuation problem
; therefore
show examples
therefore
Punctuation problem
therefore,
show examples
I have a neutral approach to the idea of only
focuing
Correct your spelling
focusing
your
Change preposition
on your
show examples
communities
Use synonyms
and
countries
Use synonyms
.
Lets
Use the right word
Let's
show examples
focus on what
is
Verb problem
apply
show examples
the exact meaning of help
.
Verb problem
is.
show examples
Help means being there to resolve
someones
Check wording
someone's
show examples
issue,you help someone by being close
far
Rephrase
by
show examples
.Help is not determined by presence but by resolving the issue at the hour of need.With
this
Linking Words
concept
Add a comma
concept,
show examples
we can disagree that we should only be concerned with
out
Use the right word
our
show examples
communities
Use synonyms
and
countries
Use synonyms
.
Linking Words
Instead
Add a comma
Instead,
show examples
we should plan things in
way
Correct article usage
a way
show examples
that we can help other
communities
Use synonyms
by uniting our own community to bond over
wellfare
Correct your spelling
welfare
.
For
Linking Words
example
Add a comma
example,
show examples
people who were dying of
femme
Use the right word
famine
show examples
in
ethopia
Correct your spelling
Ethiopia
were helped by different
communities
Use synonyms
and
countries
Use synonyms
to
over come
Use the right word
overcome
show examples
the hunger and malnutrition of the
nigerians
Fix capitalization
Nigerians
show examples
.I condemn the idea of
selfish
Correct article usage
a selfish
show examples
and
selfcentered
Correct your spelling
self-centred
approach because it hinders the progress of the
world
Use synonyms
.
On the other
Linking Words
hand
Add a comma
hand,
show examples
Sometimes
Fix capitalization
sometimes
show examples
it is not possible to help other
communities
Use synonyms
due to
Linking Words
lack
Correct article usage
a lack
show examples
of resources and inaccessibility.
This
Linking Words
can be a valid reason to remain focused on areas where you can easily help people.
This
Linking Words
doesnot
Correct your spelling
does not
mean you should only focus on your community and
countries
Use synonyms
.You can
also
Linking Words
work for your community to become
succesful
Correct your spelling
successful
and strong enough to help other nations.
United
Correct article usage
The United
show examples
nations
Fix capitalization
Nations
show examples
is the prime example.
United
Correct article usage
The United
show examples
states
Fix capitalization
States
show examples
established
their
Fix the agreement mistake
its
show examples
country and started
organization
Use the right word
organisations
show examples
like
WHO
Check wording
apply
show examples
(
Correct your spelling
the World
world
Use synonyms
health
Fix capitalization
Health
show examples
oraganization
Correct your spelling
Organisation
) that works for all the
countries
Use synonyms
to provide better vaccination,aiding in disease control around the
world
Use synonyms
.
Therefore
Linking Words
focusing
Punctuation problem
, focusing
show examples
on your
countries
Use synonyms
and
communities
Use synonyms
is important.Collaboration with other organisations and
communities
Use synonyms
to work for a cause can make
Use synonyms
world
Correct article usage
the world
show examples
a better place.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
Make your clear position on the topic at the start and keep it as you write.
coherence
Use a new idea in each paragraph and connect them with simple linking words.
task response
Give one strong example that is easy to see and relate to your main point.
language
Check the spelling and basic grammar so the writing is easy to read.
content
The writer shows a real view on helping both at home and in the world.
structure
There is a small step to show contrast with phrases like On the other hand.
coherence
Some ideas connect about working with others for a good cause.
Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general
What to do next:
Look at other essays: