IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

The picture below shows the use of renewable energy accounting the total energy from 1971 to 2006.

The given line graph illustrates data on the use of renewable energy in six countries over a period of 41 years, commencing from 1971.
Overall
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, Finland consistently had the highest level of renewable energy consumption,
while
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 the United Kingdom remained the lowest. The United States, Germany, and France experienced some fluctuations. At the beginning of the period, Finland used just under 25 units, which was the highest rate among others.
Then
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 it fluctuated around a generally upward trend to finish at just above 25.
Moreover
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, the amount of use for Denmark was 15 units.
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then
Fix capitalization
Then
show examples
, apart from a brief reduction by 1986, it went up to reach around 18 units, which was a sharp trend compared to Finland. The United States, the United Kingdom, France, and Germany began with minor significance. After that, there was a rise in their numbers,
whereas
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 the United Kingdom had the lowest level throughout the

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structure data
Fix the use of numbers. Give clear figures for each country in a few key years and in the ending line.
overview
Make a clear overview: say which country is the highest and which is the lowest, then add main changes.
coherence
Group data by country and compare use over time. Use connect words like 'and', 'but', 'also', 'however'.
grammar
Check grammar. Some phrases are awkward; rest for example 'began with minor significance' to 'started with small use'.
closing
End with a closing idea to show you finish the report.
content
The paragraph gives an overall view that Finland is high and the UK is low.
structure
Some attempt to compare several countries over time.
content
The essay stays about a line graph and talks of changes over time.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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