IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

The first chart below gives information about the money spent by British parents on their children's sports between 2008 and 2014. The second chart shows the number of children who participated in three sports in Britain over the same time period.

Two charts illustrate the parents’ spending on their
children
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's
sports
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 and the number of
children
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 participating in three
apply
Wrong verb form
applied
show examples
sports
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 sectors in Britain from 2008 to 2014.
Overall
Linking Words
, it can be seen that parents increased their consumption of
children
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's
sports
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 throughout the period. From the number of
Use synonyms
participants
Check wording
participants'
show examples
 perspective,
football
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 dominated over athletics and swimming, even though all of them had an upward trend. At the beginning of the period, parents consumed an average of 20 pounds monthly for their
children
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 in
sports
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 activities. In the following years, parents increased their allocation expenditure to roughly 35 pounds in 2014. The second graph depicts that
children
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’s participation in
football
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 has a significant increase. In 2008, above 7,5
million
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children
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 participated in
football
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sports
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 and remained stable.
Whereas
Linking Words
, participations in swimming were a third of
football
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, but it grew steadily from below 2,5
million
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 until nearly 4
million
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.
In contrast
Linking Words
, athletics started with the lowest
participations
Fix the agreement mistake
participation
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could
Correct word choice
and could
show examples
 be overtaking swimming
participants
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 between 2010 and 2012. At the
last
Linking Words
, swimming
participants
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 could be reached nearly 5
million
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participants
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.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words children, sports, participants, football, million with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "nearly" was used 2 times.
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