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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

In some countries young people are encouraged to work or travel for a year between finishing high school and starting University studies. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages for young people who decide to do this

The world has greatly changed, and that includes education. Today
many
Punctuation problem
, many
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 young people decide
to not
Correct word order
not to
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 attend University directly from high school.
Instead
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, they plan to work or travel for a
year
Use synonyms
.
This
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 essay will examine both the advantages and disadvantages of doing
this
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. On the one hand, there are many advantages in taking a
year
Use synonyms
 off and not going to University.
First,
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a gap
year
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 helps young people gain
real life
Use the right word
real-life
show examples
 experience.
For example
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, when
students
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 work, they will learn how to manage money and how to deal with responsibilities.
Second,
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travelling is
also
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 useful because it allows the
students
Use synonyms
 to see new cultures, meet different people and become more confident. Another benefit is choosing the right major. Many teenagers are unsure about what they want to study. By working or travelling, they might discover their interests and make
a
Correct article usage
apply
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better decisions about their future studies.
However
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,
on the other hand
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, there are some drawbacks. One of the disadvantages of taking a
year
Use synonyms
 off is that it makes it difficult for some
students
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 to return to academics. They may feel less motivated to start university.
Also
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, they might forget their studying habits. Second, travelling for one
year
Use synonyms
 can often be expensive, and not every family can afford it.
Third,
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it may delay their education.
For example
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, even working for a
year
Use synonyms
 may delay
students
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 from starting their careers, compared to others.
Also
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,
this
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 will serve to delay graduation with their classmates. In conclusion, it is clear to see that a gap
year
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 can be beneficial, offering many advantages.
However
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, it must be noted that it
also
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 presents some disadvantages. It is up to the individual and their maturity.

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task
Make your view clear in the end. Say if you think a gap year is good or not, and why.
content
Add more depth by giving one or two real or simple life examples.
grammar
Check small grammar issues and use shorter sentences to help accuracy.
cohesion
Use more linking words to show how ideas fit, so each idea moves to the next.
structure
The essay is easy to read and split into clear parts.
task
It gives both sides and keeps a calm tone.
cohesion
The use of sign posts like 'on the one hand' and 'however' helps flow.
Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Cultural immersion
  • Life experience
  • Work ethic
  • Career readiness
  • Self-discovery
  • Delayed gratification
  • Intellectual stagnation
  • Financial implications
  • Social dynamics
  • Academic trajectory
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