IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

In some countries children have very strict rules of behavior, while in other countries they are allowed to do almost anything they want. To what extent should children have to follow rules?

How
children
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 grow
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
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 strongly influenced by their
parents
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. In some countries,
parents
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 allow their
child
Fix the agreement mistake
children
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 to do whatever they want.
However
Linking Words
, I strongly disagree with that. In my opinion,
parents
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 have to create some
rules
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 for their
kids
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, but at the same
time
Add a comma
time,
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 they have to give some space for their
kids
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 to explore. It means that
children
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do
Verb problem
are
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 not restricted
with
Change preposition
by
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rules
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, but somehow the
rules
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 are
being
Verb problem
apply
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their guideline.
Rules
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 are a good way to control
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children
Check wording
children's
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behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
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. It
reflect
Correct subject-verb agreement
reflects
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 a guideline for them about how to interact with people in society.
Rules
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 are
a
Correct article usage
apply
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tools to teach them to be more polite
especially
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, especially
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 with
the
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apply
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older people. Not only that, but
rules
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are
Verb problem
apply
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also
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 play a role
to protect
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in protecting
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children
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 from danger. Usually,
children
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 still do not know what activities
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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harm them. But with
rules
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, they can know and understand what activities
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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they are allowed to do and prohibited
to do
Change preposition
from doing
show examples
.
For example
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, some
parenst
Correct your spelling
parents
 may
creates
Wrong verb form
create
show examples
rule
Correct article usage
a rule
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 for their
children
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 to not watch television often, they set a schedule and so that their
kids
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 can have
a
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apply
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good time management and have
a
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apply
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good sleep quality.
On the other hand
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, strict
rules
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 can affect
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children
Check wording
children's
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 mentality. If they are strongly restricted
with
Change preposition
by
show examples
rules
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 that their
parents
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 make, it will influence their growth because strict
rules
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 can limit their creativity.
Children
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 with strict
parents
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 usually do not explore as much as the other
kids
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while
Punctuation problem
, while
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 exploration is a really good
to
Check wording
way to
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 develop their
brain
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brains
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 so that they can be more creative.
Moreover
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, exploration
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also
Verb problem
is also
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 good for creating
problem solving
Use the right word
problem-solving
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skill
Fix the agreement mistake
skills
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 and
decision making
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decision-making
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skill
Fix the agreement mistake
skills
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 too. In conclusion, I agree that
children
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 have to be controlled by
rules
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but
Punctuation problem
, but
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 not that
strict
Replace the word
strictly
show examples
.
Parents
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 have to take
a
Correct article usage
apply
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note that they must give their
kids
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 some space and not
hardly
Replace the word
harshly
show examples
 punish them if their child
break
Correct subject-verb agreement
breaks
show examples
 the
rules
Use synonyms
.

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task response
State a clear position in the intro and restate it in the conclusion.
task response
Add more strong reasons and real examples to support your view.
structure
Make each paragraph have a clear topic sentence.
grammar
Use shorter, safer sentences to make ideas easy to read.
coherence
Use simple linking words to join ideas and show flow.
idea
You show a view that rules should help but not be too strict.
structure
You try to use linking words like 'On the other hand' and 'In conclusion'.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • good
  • time
  • can
  • will
  • not
  • be
  • this
  • that
  • these
  • we
  • you
  • they
  • I
  • and
  • or
  • in
  • on
  • with
  • for
  • use
  • know
  • think
  • see
  • make
  • take
  • give
  • day
  • year
  • new
  • how
  • there
  • their
  • them
  • these
  • would
  • other
  • want
  • need
  • also
  • first
  • after
  • our
What to do next:
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