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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

the charts below show the average percentages in typical meals of three types of nutrients, all of which may be unhealthy if eaten too much. summarize the information and make a comparison.

the charts below show the average percentages in typical meals of three types of nutrients, all of which may be unhealthy if eaten too much. summarize the information and make a comparison.
The three charts depict
Use synonyms
proportion
Correct article usage
the proportion
show examples
 of three types of nutrients in four typical meals. The nutrients might
affect
Verb problem
have
show examples
negative
Correct article usage
a negative
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 impact
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 if people have eaten too much.
Overall
Linking Words
, the sodium and the saturated fat have the highest average percentage
on
Change preposition
in
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 the dinner.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, adding sugar has the highest percentage
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the
snacks
Use synonyms
.
Different
Correct article usage
A different
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 condition is shown in the lowest perspective.
Breakfast
Use synonyms
become
Verb problem
has
show examples
 the lowest
proportion
Use synonyms
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
added sugar and
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
saturated fat. Yet, the sodium has
same
Correct article usage
the same
show examples
proportion
Use synonyms
 between the
breakfast
Use synonyms
 and the
snacks
Use synonyms
. From the first chart, the
breakfast
Use synonyms
 type has 43
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
, the
lunch
Use synonyms
 has 29
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
, and the
lunch
Use synonyms
as well as
Linking Words
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
snacks
Use synonyms
 have 14
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
.
Subsquently
Correct your spelling
Subsequently
, the saturated fat has
different
Correct article usage
a different
show examples
 composition. The
breakfast
Use synonyms
, the
snacks
Use synonyms
, and the
lunch
Use synonyms
 can be ranked from the lowest to the highest with
same
Correct article usage
the same
show examples
different
Replace the word
difference
show examples
. The
breakfast
Use synonyms
 has 16
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 the
lunch
Use synonyms
 has 26
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
.
The
Correct determiner usage
Last
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last
Linking Words
 but not least, the
snacks
Use synonyms
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
show examples
 the biggest
proportion
Use synonyms
 with 42
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
.
In addition
Linking Words
, the dinner has 23
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
, the
lunch
Use synonyms
has19
Correct your spelling
has 19
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
, and the
breakfast
Use synonyms
 has 19
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words proportion, snacks, breakfast, percent, lunch with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 4 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 4 times.
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