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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

In many countries, the amount of household waste like food packaging is increasing. What are the causes of this problem? What measures could be taken to reduce it?

Ever since the international feminist movement began to gain
omentum
Use the right word
momentum
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 during the 1970s, many people claim that
women
Use synonyms
 should have an equal role in majors that have been dominated by
men
Use synonyms
,
such
Linking Words
 as the
poice
Correct your spelling
police
 or the army.
However
Linking Words
,
othes
Correct your spelling
others
 argue that
such
Linking Words
fields
Use synonyms
 have certain features that
woen
Correct your spelling
women
 cannot satisfy and
therefore
Linking Words
, they are not suitable candidates. On the one hand, it is understandable why many people cast doubt on females
joing
Correct your spelling
joining
 the police or military force. It has been proven that
men
Use synonyms
 are generally stronger than
women
Use synonyms
 in terms of physical strength, which makes them suitable contenders for these
fields
Use synonyms
.
Such
Linking Words
advantage
Correct article usage
an advantage
show examples
 leads to the impression that if these tasks are handled by
men
Use synonyms
, they will be done with the utmost
in
Change preposition
apply
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efficiency and performance. Another factor that contributes to
this
Linking Words
 belief is that
women
Use synonyms
 are
natually
Correct your spelling
naturally
 the
one
Fix the agreement mistake
ones
show examples
 who give birth;
hence
Linking Words
, there will be
time
Fix the agreement mistake
times
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that
Correct word choice
when
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 they need to be absent from work to nurture their children. Because of
this
Linking Words
, the majority of important tasks in the police or army
tends
Correct subject-verb agreement
tend
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 to be done by
men
Use synonyms
, as they do not have maternity
leaves
Fix the agreement mistake
leave
show examples
 like
women
Use synonyms
. Having said that, it would be nonsensical to neglect
semale
Correct your spelling
female
 candidates who want to take part in these
fields
Use synonyms
.
Although
Linking Words
 it is hard to deny the fact that most males are more well-built than females, policewomen and female militants are believed to be more patient and thoughtful, especially towards other
women
Use synonyms
 and young children
than
Punctuation problem
, than
show examples
 their male counterparts.
This
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 could be a huge benefit, especially in the police, when they have to address critical and stressful situations that involve
women
Use synonyms
 and children. Another
reasons
Fix the agreement mistake
reason
show examples
 why many believe that
women
Use synonyms
 should be given the chance to
provoke
Verb problem
pursue
show examples
 themselves in these areas is egalitarianism. Many
women
Use synonyms
,
such
Linking Words
 as Marie Curie, have proven themselves to be as good as their male colleagues in scientific areas, which used to be dominated by
men
Use synonyms
.
Therefore
Linking Words
, it is reasonable to believe that
women
Use synonyms
 can be as good as
men
Use synonyms
 in the above-mentioned
fields
Use synonyms
. In conclusion, I strongly
believethat
Correct your spelling
believe that
 gender must not influence the decision whether someone should work in certain
fields
Use synonyms
.
Therefore
Linking Words
, as long as a candidate can satisfy the requirements of becoming a policeman or militant, he or she should be allowed to join the force.

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task response
Plan your answer. Say your view in the start and end. Show both sides and give a clear end point.
coherence
Use clear links to join ideas. Keep ideas in order. Use simple words like 'on the one hand' and 'on the other hand' and 'also' to tie ideas.
content
The writer shows a will to have equal rights for women in work.
structure
The essay tries to show both sides of the issue.
Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – Problems
  • Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • One of the first problems of the...
  • Another problem that needs to be considered...
  • A possible solution to this problem would be...
  • One immediate practical solution is to...

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