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Writing Samples
Band 5

It is becoming increasingly popular to have a year off between finishing school and going to university. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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Introduction
In today's world, the trend of enrolling on university has changed; often, children join it after a year of break from school .
This
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 essay will discuss both the pros and cons of
this
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 trend in the upcoming paragraphs.
Body paragraph 1
One of the most significant benefits is the enhancement of intellectual and practical
skills
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. Since the continuity of
ongoing
Correct article usage
an ongoing
show examples
 education institution can kill the interest of any human, after they get a break could be an impressive relief in their life.
For instance
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, in Japan, every student has the compulsion
of
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to
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getting
Verb problem
take
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 a year's
pause
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break
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 after completing secondary education.
This
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 not only leads towards the growth of practical
skills
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, but
also
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 gives them a chance to earn money , which would help them later in their studies.
Besides
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 that, after a year of study break can create a potential for focus greatly. Because of
,
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apply
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 enough practical
skills
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 like culinary
skills
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, decreasing parents' burden , and children can feel independent and become multitaskers.
Body paragraph 2
On the other hand
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, one of the extensive problems is that it creates a risk of involvement in criminal activities
such
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 as murder, theft, drug dealing or consumption.
Therefore
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, it gives birth to numerous complications for individuals and society
,
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.
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individual's
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An individual's
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 growth could be stopped
due to
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 active participation in unethical activities, and alongside , people in society don't feel safe living there be it. In Nepal, people are moving out of the country rapidly.
Conclusion
To conclude
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 that,
although
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 having a one-year break after the twelfth grade increases children's moral and practical
skills
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,
however
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 effects should not be overlooked. Most substantial is keeping an eye on teenagers by their parents and the government .

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task response
Plan a clear view and state it at the start. The essay should have a strong main idea and then stay with it.
coherence and cohesion
Use clear link words to connect ideas. Start each paragraph with a topic sentence and keep one main idea per paragraph.
task response
Give more real and easy examples from life. Tie each example to the point you make.
idea quality
The essay has some good ideas on the topic and uses examples.
structure
There is an effort to discuss both sides and to present the topic.
Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • gap year
  • work experience
  • internships
  • traveling
  • life experiences
  • personal development
  • independent
  • self-reliant
  • educational progress
  • graduation timeline
  • financial burden
  • academic momentum
  • structured academic environment
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