IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Some experts believe it is better for children to begin learning a foreign language at primary schools rather than secondary school. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

Nowadays, some people prefer
make
Verb problem
to make
show examples
 sure their
children
Use synonyms
 start to learn
foreign
Correct article usage
a foreign
show examples
language
Use synonyms
 in primary
school
Use synonyms
 to secondary
school
Use synonyms
. In my opinion, there are more advantages than disadvantages
teaching
Change preposition
to teaching
show examples
 other
Use synonyms
language
Fix the agreement mistake
languages
show examples
 in primary
school
Use synonyms
,
for example
Linking Words
, young age is easier to change,
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
 more
duration
Check wording
time
show examples
 to
exercise
Verb problem
practice
show examples
, and can
implement
Wrong verb form
be implemented
show examples
 in more
Use synonyms
time
Check wording
period
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.
However
Linking Words
, there are more disadvantages like reducing playing
time
Use synonyms
 and forgetting their primary culture. On one hand, it is believed that,
in
Change preposition
at
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the
Correct article usage
a
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 young age, people only mirror their role model and learn what their parents teach
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
them.
For example
Linking Words
, a baby always mirrors
what
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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their parents'
habit
Fix the agreement mistake
habits
show examples
. So
that
Correct determiner usage
apply
show examples
, teaching other
Use synonyms
language
Fix the agreement mistake
languages
show examples
 in primary
school
Use synonyms
 can influence their habit.
Other
Fix the agreement mistake
Another
show examples
 reason is that human ability
in memorizing
Change preposition
to memorise
show examples
 something will drop in line with the adding age.
Children
Use synonyms
 in primary
school
Use synonyms
do
Verb problem
are
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 not
affect
Wrong verb form
affected
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 by other
thing
Fix the agreement mistake
things
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, so that
make
Correct subject-verb agreement
makes
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them
Correct pronoun usage
it
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 easy
memorize
Change the spelling
memorise
show examples
. The
last
Linking Words
 reason, some countries have
more
Correct word choice
a longer
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 duration in primary
school
Use synonyms
 than secondary
school
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
 condition
makes
Verb problem
allows
show examples
children
Use synonyms
having
Verb problem
apply
show examples
more
time
Use synonyms
 to
exercise
Verb problem
practice
show examples
 the foreign
language
Use synonyms
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, if
children
Use synonyms
get
Verb problem
learn
show examples
foreign
Correct article usage
a foreign
show examples
language
Use synonyms
 in primary
school
Use synonyms
, it means their other
time
Use synonyms
 will be reduced.
For instance
Linking Words
,
teacher
Correct article usage
the teacher
show examples
 will change playing
time
Use synonyms
 to learning
foreign
Correct article usage
a foreign
show examples
language
Use synonyms
. As we know, childhood is
Use synonyms
time
Correct article usage
a time
show examples
 that can not be forgotten
and
Punctuation problem
, and
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 all
children
Use synonyms
 need
time
Use synonyms
for playing
Change preposition
to play
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each
Change preposition
with each
show examples
 other.
Secondly
Linking Words
, learning
foreign
Correct article usage
a foreign
show examples
language
Use synonyms
, definitely, will learn
other
Change preposition
about other
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 countries'
culture
Fix the agreement mistake
cultures
show examples
. Sometimes, it would
be influenced
Wrong verb form
influence
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 their primary culture
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
 is not
same
Correct article usage
the same
show examples
. In conclusion, parents can
pursue
Verb problem
encourage
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 their
children
Use synonyms
 to learn
foreign
Correct article usage
a foreign
show examples
language
Use synonyms
 in primary schools
but
Punctuation problem
, but
show examples
 they need to be supervised.

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task response
Make your view clear in the first line. Then give two or three strong reasons to back it up.
coherence
Put one main idea in each paragraph. Start with a simple topic sentence.
grammar
Use easy words. Check that each sentence matches tense and subject.
examples
Give a good example for each idea. Do not use many vague points.
organization
There is a plan with three parts: intro, body, and conclusion.
content
The writer tries to discuss both sides of the topic.
content
Some clear ideas are shown, like how age helps memory.
argument
The idea of time in school and play is used to show a point.
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