IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

The line graph and pie chart below show information on crime in the UK for the last year. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The given diagrams illustrate
an
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
information on
crime
Use synonyms
 in the UK for the
last
Linking Words
 year. The line graph talks about the connection between age and violation,
while
Linking Words
 the pie chart
breakdown
Use the right word
breaks down
show examples
 the varieties of
crime
Use synonyms
. As can be seen from the graph,
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
individuals began
comitting
Correct your spelling
committing
crimes
Use synonyms
 at the age of 12, where there were about 5,000
cases
Use synonyms
last
Linking Words
 year.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, the number of
crimes
Use synonyms
 rose abruptly at the ages of 15-16, reaching about 70,000 incidents recorded.
However
Linking Words
, people aged 20 recorded the highest
crime
Use synonyms
 rate, approximately 80,000
cases
Use synonyms
. Yet the sum of
crimes
Use synonyms
 at the ages 24-25
nearly
Verb problem
was nearly
show examples
 close to those who were 14-15, where there were 60,000
cases
Use synonyms
. Individuals at the age
28
Change preposition
of 28
show examples
did
Verb problem
committed
show examples
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
fewer
Use synonyms
crime
Fix the agreement mistake
crimes
show examples
 than the young adults
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
 there were 20,000
number of
Fix the agreement mistake
apply
show examples
crimes
Use synonyms
.
Verb problem
committed.
show examples
Moreover
Linking Words
, other criminals above 30 years old committed
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
fewer
Use synonyms
crime
Fix the agreement mistake
crimes
show examples
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
under
Verb problem
were under
show examples
 20,000
cases
Use synonyms
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, violent
crime
Use synonyms
 accounted for half
proportion
Correct article usage
the proportion
show examples
 of the types of
crime
Use synonyms
 that criminals chose in the UK, about 46% of them chose
this
Linking Words
 type of
crime
Use synonyms
.
In contrast
Linking Words
 to public order
crime
Use synonyms
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
which
Correct word choice
where
show examples
 there were only about 9% of them committed
this
Linking Words
 type,
while
Linking Words
 drug and property
crime
Use synonyms
 show nearly the same percentage,
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
22% and 23% each.
Overall
Linking Words
, the highest number of
crimes
Use synonyms
 for the
last
Linking Words
 year were people
at
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
ages
Replace the word
aged
show examples
 20, and violent
crime
Use synonyms
 became the most popular type of
crime
Use synonyms
 that most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
criminals chose to commit.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "last, while".
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 78%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words crime, crimes, cases with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "nearly" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 5 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • The line graph depicts
  • The pie chart illustrates
  • reveals
  • displays
  • depicts
  • the trend of
  • the overall crime rate
  • steadily decreased
  • the distribution of
  • different types of crime
  • prevalent
  • accounts for
  • the most common crime
  • followed by
  • make up
  • a smaller proportion of
  • the total crimes
  • a smaller percentage
  • approximately
  • the remaining percentage
  • It is important to note that
  • reflects
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