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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The graph bolow gives information about the percentage of the populationin four Asian countries lving in cltles from 1970 to 2020,with predictions for2030 and 2040.

The line graph illustrates the proportion of the
population
Use synonyms
 in
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Philippines
Correct article usage
the Philippines
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,
Malaysia
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,
Thailand
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,and
Indonesia
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 settling in cities between 1970 and 2020,
while
Linking Words
 predictions for 2030 and 2040.
Overall
Linking Words
,the total number of
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population
Check wording
people
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 living in cities
increasing
Wrong verb form
has increased
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 significantly
during
Change preposition
over
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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time,with
particular
Replace the word
particularly
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 strong growth in the percentage of
Malaysia
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. In 1970,the
population
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 of
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Philippines
Correct article usage
the Philippines
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 slightly
exceed
Wrong verb form
exceeded
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Malaysia
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around
Change preposition
by around
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 30%,the number of
Thailand
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 and
and
Remove the redundancy
apply
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Indonesia
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are
Wrong verb form
was
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 lower than other two countries
about
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by about
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 10% to 20%.In 2000,
Malaysia
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 surpassed
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Philippines
Correct article usage
the Philippines
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.In 2040,
Malaysia
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 are
excepted
Verb problem
expected
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 to reach a peak at 80%,and
Thailand
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 are predicted to
the
Verb problem
have the
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 lowest one almost 60%. In 2010,
Indonesia
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are
Wrong verb form
was
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 projected to surpass
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Philippines
Correct article usage
the Philippines
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 to become the second high
population
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 living in cities,until 2040,
Indonesia
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 are predicted to increase in60%.
During
Change preposition
From
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 2020 to 2040,the gap between
Use synonyms
Philippines
Correct article usage
the Philippines
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 and
Thailand
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 narrowed.

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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words population, philippines, malaysia, thailand, indonesia with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
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