IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The line graph shows the average number of weekly patients visiting four clinics of a hospital from 2010 to 2016. Number of patients to four clinics in one hospital (Anelya2)

The line chart illustrates the
number
Use synonyms
 of
patients
Use synonyms
 in four different clinics (birth control, dental, diabetic, and eye) in a particular country between 2010 and 2016.
Overall
Linking Words
,
although
Linking Words
 there were some fluctuations, the general trend shows a clear increase in the
number
Use synonyms
 of
patients
Use synonyms
 among all
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
four clinics. In 2010, around 250
patients
Use synonyms
 accounted for birth control
, after
Punctuation problem
. After
show examples
 reaching its highest point in 2012, the
number
Use synonyms
 of visitors dropped sharply to under 200
patients
Use synonyms
 in 2014.
This
Linking Words
 figure recovered to slightly under 250 by 2016.
Similarly
Linking Words
,
dental
Correct article usage
the dental
show examples
clinic
Use synonyms
 stood at approximately 100
patients
Use synonyms
. Despite the significant
fell
Check wording
fall
show examples
 in 2012, the
number
Use synonyms
 of
patients
Use synonyms
 continued to grow in the following years, reaching nearly 150
patients
Use synonyms
 in 2016.
In contrast
Linking Words
,
diabetic
Correct article usage
the diabetic
show examples
clinic
Use synonyms
 experienced a gradual growth throughout the period,
started
Wrong verb form
starting
show examples
 from just over 50
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
patients
Use synonyms
 in 2010 to roughly 150 visitors in 2016, overtaking
dental
Correct article usage
the dental
show examples
clinic
Use synonyms
.
Eye
Correct article usage
The eye
show examples
clinic
Use synonyms
 witnessed a
dramatically
Replace the word
dramatic
show examples
 increase, reaching almost 350
patients
Use synonyms
 in the final year,
showed
Verb problem
which was
show examples
 a high point among all four clinics.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words number, patients, clinic with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "number of" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "shows" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 2 times.
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