IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2.5

Some people say that economic growth is the only way to end world poverty and hunger. Others say that economic growth is causing damage to the environment and should be stopped now. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Water
Use synonyms
 is everywhere, in oceans, in glaciers, in cities and in mountains. We are
also
Linking Words
consisted
Verb problem
composed
show examples
 of
water
Use synonyms
 for about 60% and it can
differnitate
Correct your spelling
differ
 from your age and gender,
for
Linking Words
example
Add a comma
example,
show examples
 when a baby comes to
life
Punctuation problem
life,
show examples
 he is 75%
from
Change preposition
apply
show examples
water
Use synonyms
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
this
Linking Words
 figure drops to 65% when he hits his first birthday. We need
water
Use synonyms
 to cushion and lubricate joints , regulate temperature of body and nourish the brain and the spinal cord.
the
Fix capitalization
The
show examples
water
Use synonyms
 is not only in our blood ,
the
Correct word choice
but the
show examples
 heart and the brain of adults are
3/4
Rephrase
also 3/4
show examples
from
Change preposition
apply
show examples
water
Use synonyms
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
 is tantamount to the amount of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
moisture in
banana
Correct article usage
a banana
show examples
.Lungs are similar to
apple
Correct article usage
an apple
show examples
 with 83% and even seemingly dry and rocky human bones are 31%
water
Use synonyms
. So there is a question , if we have so much
water
Use synonyms
why
Punctuation problem
, why
show examples
 do we need to drink it
everyday
Use the right word
every day
show examples
.
Change the punctuation
?
show examples
 We lose about 1
liter
Change the spelling
litre
show examples
 of
water
Use synonyms
everyday
Use the right word
every day
show examples
 by sweating and bowel movements
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 even from breathing. Both not drinking enough and drinking too much are
dangeruous
Correct your spelling
dangerous
 or can be called
as
Rephrase
apply
show examples
deadly.
Fix capitalization
Yes
show examples
yes
Punctuation problem
yes,
show examples
 if you are a teenager and you are drinking 2 litres is not deadly
but
Punctuation problem
, but
show examples
 you will not just leave without pain .

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
Plan before you write. Say the main idea in one line and finish with a short end that repeats this idea.
coherence
Make ideas fit in a clear flow. Use small link words like first, also, but, so to show how ideas go from one to the next.
coherence
Try to keep one idea in each part. Use easy language and simple sentence to tell the point.
content
The writing uses many facts about water in a simple way.
structure
The text is easy to read and follow.
Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: