IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The working week should be shorter and workers should have a longer weekend. Do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for you answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Weekdays for working should be shorter, and employees should have a much longer
weekend
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. I agree with a 2-day
weekend
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 because it is not enough for
people
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 who work
for
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apply
show examples
5 days a week. Many
people
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 have to finish deadlines from their
office
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Linking Words
although
Punctuation problem
, although
show examples
 they have free
time
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 on weekends. Many workers only have a two-day
weekend
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;
however
Linking Words
, the two-day
weekend
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 that the
office
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 gives
to
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apply
show examples
them is not enough because there are so many deadlines they have to finish before the
weekend
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 ends.
Nevertheless
Linking Words
, the two-day
weekend
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that is
Linking Words
 actually for relaxing cannot be used maximally because they have so many things on their to-do list.
For example
Linking Words
, a teacher who works from Monday to Friday to teach her students
also
Linking Words
 uses her
weekend
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 to check her students’ homework. The
weekend
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 is a
time
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 to spend with family, friends, or even ourselves, to try new skills, go on holidays with family, or hang out and have quality
time
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 with
people
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 we love. That’s normal for human beings; we need relaxing
time
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 to stay healthy. Many
people
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 burn out or have mental health problems because they do not have enough healing
time
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. Sometimes workers do not
realize
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realise
show examples
 that they need more
time
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 to relax and spare
time
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 not only to think about
office
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 deadlines. In conclusion, I totally agree that employees should have a longer
weekend
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 to spend more
time
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 with
people
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 they love. It is not only about healing but
also
Linking Words
 about keeping a healthy life. If workers have a fresh and good mental condition,
furthermore
Linking Words
, their ideas, actions, and vibes can be
maximized
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maximised
show examples
 and have good results, and their
office
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 can
also
Linking Words
 get the advantages from them.

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development
Add one more body section to give more ideas for the view.
strength
Clear view on the topic with a strong stance.
strength
Uses real life examples like a teacher and family life to show points.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • productivity
  • burnout
  • motivation
  • mental well-being
  • work-life balance
  • job satisfaction
  • pollution levels
  • traffic congestion
  • consumer spending
  • economic implications
  • leisure and service sectors
What to do next:
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