IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some univesity students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subjects. Other believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for qualificatio. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Many argue that studying
about
Change preposition
apply
show examples
additional
subjects
Use synonyms
 is more important,
while
Linking Words
 others believe that
students
Use synonyms
 should give their all time and attention to studying main
subjects
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
 essay will discuss both perspectives, but I believe that the former view is more necessary.
Firstly
Linking Words
, all the
students
Use synonyms
 have different life expectancy
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
 cause to seperate their educational process to various stages. These stages are easily visible
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 their
subjects
Use synonyms
 where they study their speciality with main and additional
subjects
Use synonyms
. Main
subjects
Use synonyms
 are responsible for giving major knowledge and practices to
students
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
 additional
subjects
Use synonyms
 are responsible for providing
students
Use synonyms
 with other techniques
Linking Words
such
Punctuation problem
, such
show examples
 as soft
skills
Use synonyms
.
For example
Linking Words
,
Azerbaijan
Correct article usage
the Azerbaijan
show examples
 State University of Economics is pursuing
their
Fix the agreement mistake
its
show examples
 children through these stages.
For instance
Linking Words
, Computer Science
students
Use synonyms
 are
additionally
Linking Words
 studying about business, self-management and etc., which engages their business
skills
Use synonyms
.
Secondly
Linking Words
, there
are
Verb problem
is are
show examples
 continuous debate about whether
students
Use synonyms
 should focus on their core
subjects
Use synonyms
 that will considerably impact their future.
Thus
Linking Words
, universities may adjust their policies so that
students
Use synonyms
 do not spend
efforts
Fix the agreement mistake
effort
show examples
 on additional
subjects
Use synonyms
. But research shows different results about
this
Linking Words
 situation , which gives all attention just
on
Change preposition
to
show examples
 major
Use synonyms
subjects
Punctuation problem
subjects,
show examples
 has a negative impact on
students
Use synonyms
 ' self-
skills
Use synonyms
 ,
such
Linking Words
 as soft
skills
Use synonyms
.
For example
Linking Words
, today's
work
Use synonyms
 requirements do not limit just full capability of that
work
Use synonyms
. Nowadays, employers
firstly
Linking Words
 looking for soft
skills
Use synonyms
 in their employees that show whether the employee can adapt to their team environment or not. Whilst teamwork
Use synonyms
work
Check wording
apply
show examples
plays a crucial role in
work
Use synonyms
 success.
Therefore
Linking Words
, soft
skills
Use synonyms
 are a key point in that process ,
whether
Correct word choice
and whether
show examples
students
Use synonyms
 can get these
skills
Use synonyms
 with additional
subjects
Use synonyms
. In conclusion, I firmly believe that university
students
Use synonyms
 should give equal attention to
major
Correct pronoun usage
their major
show examples
 and additional
subjects
Use synonyms
. That`s because today's world requirements don`t want to just be the best in that sector
,
Punctuation problem
;
show examples
 they are
also
Linking Words
 searching for additional
skills
Use synonyms
.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Task Plan
Plan your essay: state your main idea in the intro and keep it in the ending.
Structure
Make one clear idea in each paragraph. Start with a topic sentence and end with a link to the next part.
Accuracy
Use correct and simple words. Check your sentences so they are easy to read.
Content
Choose strong examples that fit your point and explain why they show your idea.
Coherence
Use linking words to show flow from one idea to another.
Strength
You try to discuss both sides of the topic.
Strength
There is a clear aim and a closing sentence.
Strength
Some examples are used to back up ideas.
Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: