IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The table below gives data on the hour of leisure time per year for people in Someland.

The provided table demonstrates how much
time
Use synonyms
people
Use synonyms
 from different
age
Use synonyms
 categories spent on leisure
time
Use synonyms
 activities in
someland
Fix capitalization
Someland
show examples
 in a year.
Overall
Linking Words
, one striking feature of the table is that the figures for watching
tv
Use the right word
TV
show examples
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
show examples
 dominant among all
age
Use synonyms
 disparities. Cinema was the least preferred
options
Fix the agreement mistake
option
show examples
 among
people
Use synonyms
 aged from 10s to 50s,
while
Linking Words
elder
Use the right word
older
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 (60s-70s) did not choose
group
Use synonyms
 exercise as
Correct article usage
a free
show examples
free
Use the right word
free-time
show examples
time
Use synonyms
 activity. Observing the details, teen and elder (70+)
tv
Use the right word
TV
show examples
 audiences
toke
Verb problem
took
show examples
 the vast majority, reaching
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
1200 and 1100,
while
Linking Words
 the figures for cinema
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
show examples
 100 and 75, respectively.
Tv
Use the right word
TV
show examples
 viewers among
Use synonyms
age
Correct article usage
the age
show examples
 gaps from 20s to 60s
is ranging
Wrong verb form
range
show examples
 between 400 and 700. Teens spent more
time
Use synonyms
socializing
Change the spelling
socialising
show examples
 in a larger
group
Use synonyms
,
Punctuation problem
;
show examples
 these figures for individuals aged 50+
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 relatively low, comprising 25.
However
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
 in
30s
Correct pronoun usage
their 30s
show examples
 are more likely to
socialize
Change the spelling
socialise
show examples
 within a small
group
Use synonyms
. As for
group
Use synonyms
 sports, their popularity came from teens
equal
Verb problem
was equal
show examples
 to 450, and declined with
age
Use synonyms
. Contrary,
people
Use synonyms
 from different
age
Use synonyms
 groups are interested in
individuals
Fix the agreement mistake
individual
show examples
 sports, particularly from 30s to 40s.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words time, people, age, group with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 5 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "table" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "figures" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "figures" was used 3 times.
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