IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Findings show that many criminals have low level of education. Some people believe that the best way to reduce crime is to educate criminals in prisons so that they can get job. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

There is an ongoing debate about whether
criminals
Use synonyms
 should get
Use synonyms
education
Correct article usage
an education
show examples
 in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
prision
Correct your spelling
prison
 to reduce the
criminal
Replace the word
crime
show examples
rate
Use synonyms
 in the nation. I firmly agree with
this
Linking Words
 idea
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
this
Linking Words
 essay will explain the reason for my opinion.
Firstly
Linking Words
,one of the main reasons why
Use synonyms
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
 must invest
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the
education
Use synonyms
 of
criminals
Use synonyms
 is
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
to reduce
Use synonyms
crime
Correct article usage
the crime
show examples
rate
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
 is because after completing their punishment, when they
release
Wrong verb form
are released
show examples
 from jail and to
fulfill
Change the spelling
fulfil
show examples
 the basic needs of their family
members
Punctuation problem
members,
show examples
 they can
work
Use synonyms
 in any store or open their own small business only if they are educated, which often leads to
decline
Correct article usage
a decline
show examples
 in
crime
Use synonyms
rate
Use synonyms
.
For example
Linking Words
, in
presion
Correct your spelling
prison
 when they are free and they will invest their free time in learning something rather than thinking about wrongdoings.
Therefore
Linking Words
,
it is clear that
Linking Words
education
Use synonyms
 plays a significant role to tackle the
reduce
Wrong verb form
reducing
show examples
 the
crime
Use synonyms
rate
Use synonyms
.
Moreover
Linking Words
, another important point to consider is
that
Correct determiner usage
apply
show examples
skill development. Sometimes in jail
government
Use synonyms
pay
Correct subject-verb agreement
pays
show examples
criminals
Use synonyms
 for their
work
Use synonyms
in
Punctuation problem
; in
show examples
this
Linking Words
way
Punctuation problem
way,
show examples
 they stop
doing
Verb problem
committing
show examples
misdeed
Fix the agreement mistake
misdeeds
show examples
 and learn how they
could
Verb problem
apply
show examples
earn money, and
as a
Linking Words
result
Add a comma
result,
show examples
 they develop new
skill
Fix the agreement mistake
skills
show examples
 in themselves. A clear example of
this
Linking Words
 can be seen
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
in Delhi,
government
Use synonyms
 ask
prisioner
Correct your spelling
prisoners
 to make tables and
chair
Fix the agreement mistake
chairs
show examples
 for
government
Use synonyms
 schools
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
authorities
Correct article usage
the authorities
show examples
 should
also
Linking Words
 pay them for their
work
Use synonyms
.
Linking Words
This
Correct determiner usage
apply
show examples
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
it
Fix capitalization
It
show examples
become
Correct subject-verb agreement
becomes
show examples
 evident that developing skill among
criminals
Use synonyms
also
Linking Words
 contribute to
reduce
Wrong verb form
reducing
show examples
 the
crime
Use synonyms
rate
Use synonyms
. In conclusion, I strongly agree that
education
Use synonyms
 is important for
criminals
Use synonyms
. The main reasons are
they
Correct word choice
that they
show examples
 could
do
Verb problem
apply
show examples
work
Use synonyms
 on their own to fulfil
basic
Correct article usage
the basic
show examples
 necessities of their loved ones and learn different skills.
Therefore
Linking Words
,
it is clear that
Linking Words
education
Use synonyms
 will have
significant
Correct article usage
a significant
show examples
 impact in the future.

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task response
Make your main idea clear from the start and keep this idea in all parts of the essay.
structure
Keep ideas in a calm order. Use a simple plan: one idea per paragraph, then a small end line. Use clear link words to move from one idea to the next.
grammar
Fix big mistakes in spelling and grammar. Change 'prision' and 'prisioner' to 'prison' and 'prisoner'. Use periods and few long sentences.
content
The writer shows a clear view and keeps it, which helps the reader.
content
An example is used to show a point.
content
The essay ends with a short conclusion that sums up the view.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • recidivism
  • reintegration
  • rehabilitation
  • recidivist
  • vocational training
  • societal reintegration
  • preventive measures
  • holistic approach
  • root causes
  • self-discipline
  • addressing socio-economic issues
  • inmate education programs
What to do next:
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