IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The charts below show ưhat UK graduate and postgraduate students who did not go into full-time work did after leaving college in 2008

The two charts illustrate what
non full-time
Use the right word
non-full-time
show examples
work
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UK
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graduates
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 and
postgraduates
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 did after
finished
Wrong verb form
finishing
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 their
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study
Fix the agreement mistake
studies
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 in 2008.
Overall
Linking Words
, there are more amount of
graduates
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 than
postgraduates
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, whilst most of both
Use synonyms
graduates
Check wording
apply
show examples
pursue
further
Linking Words
study
Use synonyms
. Almost 30,000
UK
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graduates
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 continue their
Use synonyms
study
Fix the agreement mistake
studies
show examples
,
it
Correct pronoun usage
which
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was
Wrong verb form
is
show examples
 almost 11 times higher than
UK
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postgraduates
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,
which
Fix the agreement mistake
who
show examples
 were only 2,725. Both
graduates
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'
second highest
Use the right word
second-highest
show examples
 destination
were
Correct subject-verb agreement
was
show examples
 part-time
work
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. The total of part-time
work
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 in
postgraduates
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 is almost as high as the
ones
Check wording
number of
show examples
who
Correct pronoun usage
those who
show examples
 pursue
higher
Correct word choice
further
show examples
study
Use synonyms
, which is 2,535
,
Punctuation problem
;
show examples
meanwhile
Add a comma
meanwhile,
show examples
on
Change preposition
among
show examples
graduates
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, the number is around one-third lower than the
further
Linking Words
study
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.
According
Linking Words
to
Remove the redundancy
apply
show examples
to the first graph,
unemployement's
Check wording
unemployement
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number
Fix the agreement mistake
numbers
show examples
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 slightly lower than part-time
work
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, despite on
postgraduates
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 it's much lower.
Last
Linking Words
 but not least, voluntary
work
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 is
less
Correct article usage
a less
show examples
 common destination in both graphs, only 345
postgraduates
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 and 3,500
graduates
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 did
this
Linking Words
 category. In conclusion, there was a similar trend
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 destination
on
Change preposition
for
show examples
UK
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graduates
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 and
postgraduates
Use synonyms
 in 2008.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "further".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words work, uk, graduates, postgraduates, study with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 3 times.
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