The charts below show ưhat UK graduate and postgraduate students who did not go into full-time work did after leaving college in 2008

The two charts illustrate what
non full-time
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non-full-time
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work
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UK
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graduates
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and
postgraduates
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did after
finished
Wrong verb form
finishing
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their
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study
Fix the agreement mistake
studies
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in 2008.
Overall
Linking Words
, there are more amount of
graduates
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than
postgraduates
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, whilst most of both
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graduates
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apply
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pursue
further
Linking Words
study
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. Almost 30,000
UK
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graduates
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continue their
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study
Fix the agreement mistake
studies
show examples
,
it
Correct pronoun usage
which
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was
Wrong verb form
is
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almost 11 times higher than
UK
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postgraduates
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,
which
Fix the agreement mistake
who
show examples
were only 2,725. Both
graduates
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'
second highest
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second-highest
show examples
destination
were
Correct subject-verb agreement
was
show examples
part-time
work
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. The total of part-time
work
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in
postgraduates
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is almost as high as the
ones
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number of
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who
Correct pronoun usage
those who
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pursue
higher
Correct word choice
further
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study
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, which is 2,535
,
Punctuation problem
;
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meanwhile
Add a comma
meanwhile,
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on
Change preposition
among
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graduates
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, the number is around one-third lower than the
further
Linking Words
study
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.
According
Linking Words
to
Remove the redundancy
apply
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to the first graph,
unemployement's
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unemployement
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number
Fix the agreement mistake
numbers
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is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
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slightly lower than part-time
work
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, despite on
postgraduates
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it's much lower.
Last
Linking Words
but not least, voluntary
work
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is
less
Correct article usage
a less
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common destination in both graphs, only 345
postgraduates
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and 3,500
graduates
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did
this
Linking Words
category. In conclusion, there was a similar trend
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
destination
on
Change preposition
for
show examples
UK
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graduates
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and
postgraduates
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in 2008.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "further".
Vocabulary: Replace the words work, uk, graduates, postgraduates, study with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 3 times.
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