The charts below show ưhat UK graduate and postgraduate students who did not go into full-time work did after leaving college in 2008

The bar graph below illustrates that the United Kingdom's enrollments who graduate and post-graduate, who haven't gone into full-time work yet, in the year 2008. In here, most of the enlistments fall into four employment genres.
Overall
Linking Words
, both pictures display in a bar chart and four different employment types. The charts both excluded full-time
workers
Use synonyms
in that year. In the first picture, the total number of graduate
students
Use synonyms
figures from 0 to 30,000; in the second picture , the number of postgraduate
students
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figures between 0 and 3,000. In the first graph, there were 17,735 part-time
workers
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, 3,500 voluntary
workers
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, 29,665
further
Linking Words
study
students
Use synonyms
, and
lastly
Linking Words
16,235 unemployed graduate
students
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, in 2008.
In contrast
Linking Words
, it had been summed up to 67,135 amount of
students
Use synonyms
' data recorded. In the second chart, there were 2,535 part-time
workers
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, 345 volunteers, 2,725
further
Linking Words
study
students
Use synonyms
, and 1,625 unemployed postgraduate admissions in that recorded year.
Moreover
Linking Words
, it had been summed up to 7,230 postgraduate
students
Use synonyms
' data.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "further".
Vocabulary: Replace the words workers, students with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "figures" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "figures" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "data" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
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