IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

The pie charts below give data on the spending and consumption of resources by countries of the world and how the population is distributed. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The data shows the distribution of
population
Use synonyms
 and how resources are spent and consumed by citizens
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
this
Linking Words
 planet.
Overall
Linking Words
, Asia has the highest number of
people
Use synonyms
 in the
world
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
,
USA
Correct article usage
the USA
show examples
 and Europe consume more resources despite having less
population
Use synonyms
. Starting with
world
Use synonyms
 spending, the
world
Use synonyms
 spends more on other things and less on clothing
with
Punctuation problem
, with
show examples
 40% and 6% respectively. Governments spend 18% on transport, 24 % buying food
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 12%
for
Change preposition
on
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 housing. Moving on to
population
Use synonyms
, Asia has the highest number of
people
Use synonyms
,
Punctuation problem
;
show examples
 it has more than half of
Use synonyms
people
Correct article usage
the people
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 on earth (56%). Europe and America both have
equal
Correct article usage
an equal
show examples
 number of occupants, both with 14%
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
.Followed by Africa (with 10%)
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 others being the least (with only 5% of
people
Use synonyms
). Coming to consumption,
USA
Correct article usage
the USA
show examples
 and Europe are the greatest consumers (60%)
Linking Words
while
Punctuation problem
, while
show examples
 other countries share 40% despite their
population
Use synonyms
. Comparatively ,the
world
Use synonyms
 spends 40% on others and consumer resources.

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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words population, people, world with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "data" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 3 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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