IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

In many countries, primary and secondary schools close for two months or more in the summer holidays. What is the value of long school holidays? What are the arguments in favour of shorter school holidays?

It has been argued for a long
time
Use synonyms
 about which is
better
Correct article usage
a better
show examples
 or worse situation related to primary and secondary schools in the rest of its
vacation
Use synonyms
 longer or shorter than two months in a range of countries in the world. First of all, some people think
long
Correct article usage
a long
show examples
vacation
Use synonyms
 can let
students
Use synonyms
 and teachers get enough rest. In
this
Linking Words
 condition, they will have more energy to start their next semester.
For instance
Linking Words
, my classmates and I usually feel more excited to open the new chapter of
next
Correct article usage
the next
show examples
 stage in school, and resting helps us ready to study.
Moreover
Linking Words
, holidays
also
Linking Words
 provide the
time
Use synonyms
 to develop the skills of
students
Use synonyms
'
hobby
Fix the agreement mistake
hobbies
show examples
, and
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
 enhance their personal growth in life.
For example
Linking Words
, they use the
time
Use synonyms
 to practice their skills
even
Punctuation problem
, even
show examples
 to participate
competitions
Change preposition
in competitions
show examples
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 certain field.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, others say
students
Use synonyms
 need continuous learning
instead
Linking Words
 of
long
Correct article usage
a long
show examples
vacation
Use synonyms
. They worry
about
Change preposition
that
show examples
students
Use synonyms
 may get
loosed
Verb problem
distracted
show examples
 from
study
Replace the word
studying
show examples
 to lose scores of study performance. To some
students
Use synonyms
, they do affect their points negatively after a long
time
Use synonyms
 resting.
In addition
Linking Words
, some parents argue that they can not focus on their work
due to
Linking Words
worring
Correct your spelling
worrying
 about their kids
stay
Wrong verb form
staying
show examples
 home. Interestingly, they have to pay more attention
on
Change preposition
to
show examples
 the kids
even
Punctuation problem
, even
show examples
 planning to please them with
traveling
Change the spelling
travelling
show examples
 or just hanging out to unwind them. Given
by
Change preposition
apply
show examples
my cousin’s opinion, he said that he did not need
frequently
Correct word order
apply
show examples
to bring them out
and
Correct word order
frequently and
show examples
 cost money if the
vacation
Use synonyms
 could be shorter. In
conclude
Replace the word
conclusion
show examples
, either the views in supporting long school holidays or doubting it have no exact truth, people can stand for their own perspectives.

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task
Be clear on your view. Start with a simple line that says if long or short holidays are better, then restate it in the end.
coherence
Make each idea in its own paragraph with a small top line that shows the point.
coherence
Link ideas with easy words like and, but, also, for example to show how ideas fit together.
grammar
Watch spelling and grammar. Read aloud and slow down to fix words like loose and worrying.
content
Give one clear example for each side. Keep it short and easy to follow.
content
The topic is clear and the essay talks about both sides.
structure
Linking words like First of all and On the other hand are used.
content
Some examples are used to show points.
Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • long holidays
  • short holidays
  • summer break
  • rest
  • health
  • family time
  • travel
  • reading
  • learning
  • memory
  • gaps
  • exams
  • curriculum
  • planning
  • cost
  • money
  • parent
  • teacher
  • student
  • school
  • summer school
  • enrichment
  • activities
  • schedule
  • fairness
  • access
  • inequality
  • support
  • spare time
  • staggered holidays
  • intersession
  • balance
  • policy
  • example
What to do next:
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