IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The two pie charts below show the online shopping sales for retail sectors in Canada in 2005 and 2010. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The pie charts
provides
Correct subject-verb agreement
provide
show examples
 information about the online expenditures for
Retail
Correct article usage
the Retail
show examples
 Sector in Canada in 2005 and 2010.
Oveerall
Correct your spelling
Overall
Electronics
Punctuation problem
, Electronics
show examples
 and Home
furnitures
Correct your spelling
furniture
 experienced a downward trend in
sales
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
 Video games and foods & beverages accounted
an
Change preposition
for an
show examples
 upward trend during the period.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, Electronics
sales
Use synonyms
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
show examples
 the highest
proportion
Use synonyms
 in the initial year, with 35 per
cent
Use synonyms
. 25 per
cent
Use synonyms
 of online
shopper
Fix the agreement mistake
shoppers
show examples
 in Canada bought Home
furnitures
Correct your spelling
furniture
, followed by food and beverages by 22 per
cent
Use synonyms
. Video
games
Fix the agreement mistake
game
show examples
sales
Use synonyms
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
show examples
 the lowest
proportion
Use synonyms
 with 18 per
cent
Use synonyms
 in 2005. In 2010, Electronics online expenditures decreased
5
Change preposition
by 5
show examples
per
cent
Use synonyms
,
became
Verb problem
and increased by
show examples
 30 per
cent
Use synonyms
.
In addition
Linking Words
, home
furnitures
Correct your spelling
furniture
 value decreased 10 per
cent
Use synonyms
, and became the lowest
proportion
Use synonyms
 in
sales
Use synonyms
at the end
Linking Words
 of the period. Evidently, Video games gained popularity in 2010, increased 5 per
cent
Use synonyms
 from the initial period, and Food & beverages achieved the biggest
proportion
Use synonyms
 by 32 per
cent
Use synonyms
 in 2005.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words sales, proportion, cent with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "trend" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "decreased" was used 2 times.
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