IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

nowadays the way many people interact with each other has changed because of technology. In what ways has technology effected the types of relationships people make? Has it becoma a positive or negative deveolopment?

Avancement
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Advancement
 in
technology
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 has affected every aspect of human life
particularly
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, particularly
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communication
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. Modern
technology
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facilitate
Correct subject-verb agreement
facilitates
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 connection even in
long distance
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long-distance
show examples
 areas for both personal and professional
interactions
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.
Although
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 every technological development brings some drawbacks for the public, in my opinion,
advantages
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the advantages
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 of advanced
communication
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 tools outweigh their
disadvatntages
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disadvantages
 because of
following
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the following
show examples
 reasons.
To begin
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 with, one of the advantages of
state of the art
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state-of-the-art
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communication
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 tools is maintaining
the
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apply
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long-distance
relatioships
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relationships
. Nowadays, lots of people
emmigrate
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emigrate
 to other countries to seek new opportunities in education and occupation, and with their mobile
phones
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phones,
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 they can communicate with their family members and their friends easily.
Moreover
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, these technologies make
communication
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 easier and faster
not
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, not
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in
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only in
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 terms of personal
interactions
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 but
also
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 for professional
interactions
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.
For instance
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, lots of international trades among
businessmens
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businessmen
 are conducted online without face-to-face interaction, or even leaving your home country. So,
technology
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 has positively changed human
interactions
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 in different ways.
On the other hand
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,
technology
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 can
effect
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affect
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 people’s connections negatively. By decreasing face-to-face
interactions
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, social and
communication
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 skills would be
weakend
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weakened
. Individuals become accustomed to sending messages through mobile phones, and their willingness
for visiting
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to visit
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 others will
be declined
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decline
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.
Consequently
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, they become less sociable, and they cannot make new connections in person. In conclusion, in my opinion,
although
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technology
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 can threaten social skills in individuals, its advantages outweigh its disadvantages. By considering its possible drawbacks, we can eliminate it through education and public awareness.
Public
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The public
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 should
encourage
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be encouraged
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 to engage in
communication
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 without using
technology
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 to strengthen their bonds in family and
societyn
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society
 as a whole.

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planning
Plan your essay before you write. Say your view in 1 line in the start and give 3 clear points with one example for each.
grammar
Use short, flat sentence. Check you did not join long lines. Use a point and stop.
coherence
Link ideas with small links like first, next, also, but, because, finally.
development
Give one strong example for each point and say how it shows your idea.
content
The essay talks about both good and bad sides.
structure
There is a clear end that says what you think.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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