IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Time: 40 minutes In many countries, shops open for longer hours daily every week. What is the negative or positive effects of this on the shoppers and local community. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Among shopkeepers, the opinions about expanding opening
time
Fix the agreement mistake
times
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 are
separated
Verb problem
divided
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. One says that it will make more profit,
while
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 the other argues that the capital will increase. We cannot deny that longer service time is comfortable to us, but it is
also
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 crucial for us to consider the effects of
this
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 on shoppers local
community
Use synonyms
 to prevent undesirable outcomes. On the one hand, if shops open for longer hours, it will be more convenient for shoppers to find the places to consume goods or services, especially in urgent.
For example
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, once my phone charger
was broken
Wrong verb form
broke
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 during the night, I tried to find the opening store to buy it.
However
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, I gave up and bought it in the morning.
Moreover
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, the local
community
Use synonyms
's economy will thrive since there is more spending within the local
.
Check wording
community.
show examples
 It can
also
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 attract more tourists from the outside who prefer night vibes.
On the other hand
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, it will directly affect employees because they have to work for a longer time. Even if they get paid more, working harder can exhaust them.
Furthermore
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, the local
community
Use synonyms
 must be responsible for the unfair treatment of the shop owner toward their employees in the case of shop owners exploiting them. In conclusion, opening for longer hours has
negative
Correct pronoun usage
both negative
show examples
 and positive effects on the shoppers and
local
Correct article usage
the local
show examples
community
Use synonyms
. It can
also
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 stimulate local spending and attract outsiders. The customers may appreciate it, but they may not realise the hardship behind the comfort.

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planning
Open with a clear view of your stand and list the points you will talk about.
development
Give each main idea one small example or fact to back it up.
language
Use short, correct sentences. Keep grammar simple to avoid errors.
task response
You discuss both good and bad effects.
cohesion
You use 'On the one hand' and 'On the other hand' to show two sides.
content
A personal example helps the reader feel the topic.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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