IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

In developing countries, rural children have less access to education.some people say that this problem is solved bquestoiy providing teachers and schools. Other think that computer and internet should be provided. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

In developing countries, many rural
children
Use synonyms
 have less access to
education
Use synonyms
. Numerous people say that
this
Linking Words
 issue is solved by providing
teachers
Use synonyms
 and schools.
Other
Fix the agreement mistake
Others
show examples
 think that
Use synonyms
computer
Fix the agreement mistake
computers
show examples
 and
Use synonyms
internet
Correct article usage
the internet
show examples
 should be available. Both views will be discussed below
here
Rephrase
apply
show examples
.
Teachers
Use synonyms
 and academic institutions
have
Verb problem
make
show examples
 big contributions to
children
Use synonyms
's
education
Use synonyms
. Not only
they
Verb problem
do they
show examples
 teach science and math,
more
Correct word choice
but more
show examples
 importantly, they
teach
Rephrase
also teach
show examples
children
Use synonyms
 the correct way of thinking.
Children
Use synonyms
 must
able
Verb problem
be able
show examples
 to give
opinion
Correct article usage
an opinion
show examples
, decide right or wrong with
teacher's
Correct article usage
the teacher's
show examples
guide
Replace the word
guidance
show examples
.
Moreover
Linking Words
, in schools, interaction among
teachers
Use synonyms
 -
students
Use synonyms
 or
students
Use synonyms
 to
students
Use synonyms
 can
indulge
Verb problem
stimulate
show examples
 the student's critical thinking.
For example
Linking Words
,
teachers
Use synonyms
 are able to
held
Wrong verb form
hold
show examples
 Focus Group Discussion where every
Use synonyms
students
Fix the agreement mistake
student
show examples
 must give their opinions towards
particular
Correct article usage
a particular
show examples
 problem,
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
which
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
boost
Correct subject-verb agreement
boosts
show examples
 their confidence and analytical thinking.
In
Change preposition
On
show examples
other
Correct article usage
the other
show examples
 hand, there are a lot of people
think
Correct pronoun usage
who think
show examples
 that
Use synonyms
computer
Fix the agreement mistake
computers
show examples
 and
Use synonyms
internet
Correct article usage
the internet
show examples
 must be provided in the way to conquer
this
Linking Words
 critical issue.
Use synonyms
Computer
Fix the agreement mistake
Computers
show examples
 and
Use synonyms
internet
Correct article usage
the internet
show examples
 open the border to global information. For people who live in
urban
Correct article usage
an urban
show examples
 area,
can
Correct pronoun usage
they can
show examples
 receive information
thousand
Fix the agreement mistake
thousands
show examples
Change preposition
of kilometers
show examples
kilometers
Change the spelling
kilometres
show examples
 away within
second
Fix the agreement mistake
seconds
show examples
. Thanks to
Fiber
Change the spelling
Fibre
show examples
 optic technology. For
Use synonyms
education
Replace the word
educational
show examples
 purposes,
this
Linking Words
 is very beneficial.
For example
Linking Words
, they can join a webinar or online learning from popular universities
such
Linking Words
 as Harvard or Stanford, despite living in
mountains
Correct article usage
the mountains
show examples
. In my
opinions
Fix the agreement mistake
opinion
show examples
, both views have
major
Correct article usage
a major
show examples
 role
to
Change preposition
in
show examples
education
Use synonyms
 improvement.
However
Linking Words
, I prefer
Use synonyms
teachers
Correct word choice
that teachers
show examples
 and academic institutions must be available for
children
Use synonyms
 in their first level of
education
Use synonyms
, because it
shaped
Wrong verb form
shapes
show examples
 their way of thinking clearly,
improve
Correct subject-verb agreement
improves
show examples
 their analytical thinking.
In
Change preposition
At
show examples
advanced
Correct article usage
the advanced
show examples
 level,
Use synonyms
computer
Fix the agreement mistake
computers
show examples
 and
Use synonyms
internet
Correct article usage
the internet
show examples
 have
significant
Correct article usage
a significant
show examples
 impact
to open
Change preposition
in opening
show examples
 the global barrier to knowledge
,
Punctuation problem
;
show examples
students
Use synonyms
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
urban
area
Fix the agreement mistake
areas
show examples
 could have the same opportunity of fast-line information
as well as
Linking Words
Harvard's
Check wording
Harvard
show examples
students
Use synonyms
. Both views above explain the statement why in urban
area
Fix the agreement mistake
areas
show examples
children
Use synonyms
 have less access to
education
Use synonyms
.
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
some
Fix capitalization
Some
show examples
 citizens believe that his issue is solved by providing
teachers
Use synonyms
 and schools. Or the availability of
Use synonyms
computer
Correct article usage
a computer
show examples
 and
Use synonyms
internet
Correct article usage
the internet
show examples
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
suffice
Replace the word
sufficient
show examples
.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
State your view clearly and give 2-3 clear reasons for each side. End with a firm personal opinion.
structure
Make the plan clear. Use four parts: introduction, about view 1, about view 2, and a short conclusion that gives your view.
language
Use small words and link words like and, but, so, because to show why and how. Keep sentences short.
content strength
The essay shows both sides and gives a personal view.
examples strength
There are some real examples like online learning to back ideas.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • educational infrastructure
  • face-to-face instruction
  • qualified teachers
  • digital education
  • e-learning
  • internet access
  • flexible curriculum
  • isolated areas
  • practical challenges
  • cost and logistics
  • maintaining schools
  • digital infrastructure
  • hybrid approach
  • blended learning environment
What to do next:
Look at other essays: