IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

In today’s society people tend to buy many things and throw them away even though they can still be used. What are some causes of this behaviour? What are some effects? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Nowadays, people,
in particular
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 teenagers, are likely to purchase the
lastest
Use the right word
latest
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prodcts
Correct your spelling
products
, even
the
Correct word choice
if the
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 previous one can still function.
This
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 essay will examine what reasons
of
Change preposition
for
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 their behaviour and the consequences it
bring
Correct subject-verb agreement
brings
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.
To begin
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,
sale
Fix the agreement mistake
sales
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strageties
Correct your spelling
strategies
 in advertisements affect the
trendency
Correct your spelling
trend
 of consumption. Individuals would receive various advertisements
in
Change preposition
on
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 different kinds of social media. People are convinced to buy a larger number of unnecessary merchandise day by day.
In addition
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, many
celebrites
Correct your spelling
celebrities
 are invited to promote famous brand products.
Younger
Correct article usage
The younger
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 generation would be impacted by celebrity-driven
, so
Check wording
products, so
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 they tend to buy these commodities.
For instance
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, some cosmetic products are
saled
Correct your spelling
sold
 out after
K-pop
Correct article usage
a K-pop
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star
Check wording
star's
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 advertising.
As a result
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, an
uncotrollable
Correct your spelling
uncontrollable
 consumption leads to
have
Verb problem
apply
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an enormous debt and
produce
Correct subject-verb agreement
produces
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 uncountable trash.
Youngers
Use the right word
Young people
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 are not able to afford a massive expenditure on consuming merchandise, so they would borrow from their family and friends.
Eventaully
Correct your spelling
Eventually
,
this
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 places a huge financial stress on the teen.
Moreover
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,
disuse
Correct article usage
the disuse
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 of outdated items can place a gigantic strain on landfills and our environment. To
illsutrate
Correct your spelling
illustrate
, most of
Correct article usage
the abadoned
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abadoned
Correct your spelling
abandoned
 electronic devices contain a variety of non-biodegradable materials
such
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 as plastic and metals. If these substances get into our soil or water, they will pollute our ecosystems and surroundings.
To
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In
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 conclusion, people are influenced by the
effect
Fix the agreement mistake
effects
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 of
advertisement
Replace the word
advertising
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 and consumerism. Excessive
purchase
Fix the agreement mistake
purchases
show examples
on
Change preposition
of
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 novel
prodcuts
Correct your spelling
products
 not only increase financial
stresses
Fix the agreement mistake
stress
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, but
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
would
Verb problem
apply
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also
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 have
bad
Correct article usage
a bad
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outcome
Check wording
impact
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to
Change preposition
on
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 our living place.
Therefore
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, we should consider the needs of
commodity
Correct article usage
the commodity
show examples
 before buying it.

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language
Fix spelling and grammar. Many words are wrong or spellings are off. Use a spell check and read your work aloud.
content
Make the task clear. Say why people buy more and what it may do. Give more real examples.
structure
Make the essay easy to read. Use clear parts: intro, two body parts (causes and effects), and a short conclusion.
language
Use short and simple sentences. Watch long lines. Check grammar with small changes.
language
Use correct punctuation. Use commas to join ideas and end with a dot.
task
The essay tries to cover both reasons and effects.
content
It shows some real links to life, like ads and celebs.
coherence
There are some good linking words like 'As a result' and 'Moreover'.
Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • consumerism
  • planned obsolescence
  • environmental impact
  • marketing and advertising
  • social status
  • wealth
  • donate
  • recycle
  • identity
  • discard
What to do next:
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