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Writing Samples
Band 8

The table shows the worldwide market share of the mobile phone market for manufacturers in the years 2005 and 2006. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. » »

The table chart gives information about the share of the mobile market producers globally in the two years 2005 and 2006.
Overall
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, we can see that Nokia had the biggest part of the share in the years given, causing it to be the manufacturer
who
Correct pronoun usage
that
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has
Wrong verb form
had
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 the best sales,
while
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on the other hand
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, BenQ had the smallest.
Also
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,
it is clear that
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 the number rose more in 2006 for some of the brands.
According to
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 the data shown, Nokia increased by 2.5 in the second year; as for Motorola, it went up from 17.7 to 21.1; and as for Samsung and Sony Ericsson, both extended from 12.7 and 6.3 to 11.8 and 7.4, respectively. Unfortunately, L.G. had dropped from 6.7 in the previous year to 6.3 in the year after it. The same situation applied to BenQ Mobile, where it decreased by 2.5. As for the other companies, they fell by 2.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "gives" was used 2 times.
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