IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Some people think that cities are the best places to live. Others prefer to live in rural areas. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Some individuals prefer to live in metropolises,
while
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 others are more likely to stay in
Correct article usage
the countrysides
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countrysides
Fix the agreement mistake
countryside
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.
This
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 essay will discuss both perspectives and explain my opinion. On the one hand, living in cities can provide more job chances,
as well as
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exciting
Correct article usage
an exciting
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 and convenient
liftstyle
Correct your spelling
lifestyle
.
Younger
Correct article usage
The younger
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 generation is more willing to seek
a
Correct article usage
apply
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further
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 and brighter development in modern and immense metropolises. To illustrate, many competent professionals ,
such
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 as IT and financial industries,
woukd
Correct your spelling
would
 find decent jobs and earn more money in London.
In addition
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,
advancing
Replace the word
advanced
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 and comprehensive
transpotation
Correct your spelling
transportation
 systems can offer a stable and rapid public transport to inhabitants.
For example
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, Japan railway companies are
regard
Replace the word
regarded
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 as the most punctual and reliable public
transpot
Correct your spelling
transport
 in the world.
Thus
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, workers can save their commuting time.
On the other hand
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, some people enjoy living in natural and quiet
living
Check wording
apply
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places. A larger number of employees suffer from high stress and tensions
due to
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 long working hours.
Therefore
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, more and more people prefer to live in rural areas in order to escape from stressful life in
city
Correct article usage
the city
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.
Moreover
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, citizens
foucs
Correct your spelling
focus
 on a
healtheir
Correct your spelling
healthier
 and peaceful lifestyle than
the
Change preposition
in the
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 past.
For instance
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, a substantial number of the retired favour to spend their leisure time in rural areas. People would pay more attention
on
Change preposition
to
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 their mental health rather than wealth. In conclusion, individuals rely on their own preferences to choose where they live. If you want to achieve
higher
Correct article usage
a higher
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 social status or develop your career, you will tend to live in
capital
Correct article usage
a capital
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,
such
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 as London, New York and Hong Kong.
Otherwise
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, you enjoy a simple and natural lifestyle in rural areas after
retired
Wrong verb form
retiring
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.

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task response
The essay gives two views and a personal opinion. Improve by making your main point more direct in the start or end of the essay.
coherence cohesion
Paragraphs have a good plan but each should start with a clear topic sentence. Make sure each paragraph has one main idea.
grammar vocabulary
Use simple and correct words. Spelling mistakes in common words like 'transportation', 'style', and 'focus' should be fixed.
coherence cohesion
Link ideas with simple words: 'also', 'but', 'however', 'in addition'. Check that tenses stay the same within a paragraph.
task response
Try to be more precise with examples. Name places or facts but keep them simple and true.
structure
Clear structure: introduction, body, and conclusion are present.
content
Attempts to discuss both sides and give a personal view.
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