Nowadays many people choose to be self-employed, rather than to work for a company or organisation. Why might this be the case? What could be the disadvantages of being self-employed?

As the
economy
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development
Replace the word
develops
show examples
, starting up
business
Correct article usage
a business
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has
became
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become
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a new tendency currently. More and more people choose to set up their own companies
instead
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of being employed. I
surppose
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suppose
this
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trend is a
necesity
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necessity
in the process of the transformation of
Use synonyms
economy
Correct article usage
the economy
show examples
.
Firstly
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, the direct reason why people have ideals of creating their own business is that they find the passion to explore their road to success
while
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in work for a company or organisation. It is not only about the salaries they earn will increase without sharing profits
to
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with
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boss
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the boss
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, but
also
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the sense of control and professional achievement
encourage
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encourages
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them to move on bravely.
For example
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, Bill Gates and Steve Jobs both set up their business in the garage not just for a living but for the feelings when they conquered the obstacles.
In addition
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,
this
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is a necessary alteration with
techonlogy
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technological
advances in most developed countries. More start-ups
means
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mean
show examples
more chances to hatch
an
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a
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unicorn enterprise in an atmosphere of fierce marketing competition. Despite
benefits
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the benefits
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of start-up boosting to
propmpt
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prompt
the
economy
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, there are still risks
this
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trend
bring
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brings
show examples
about. One of the most concerning
perspect
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perspectives
is that the
faliure
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failure
rates for start-ups are higher than
a
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for a
show examples
big company in a mature market.
This
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increased risk
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thus will
Correct word order
will thus
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be introduced in the
economy
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, and the instability and anxious
markenting
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marketing
emotions will
occure
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occur
.
Less
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Fewer
show examples
employees working for a company or organisation may cause
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
lack of labour, which in turn can lead to
Use synonyms
economy
Replace the word
economic
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collapse risk
further
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growing. In short, the new trend of self-employed is a necessary path to the
economy
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upgrating
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upgrading
with the technology
advancing
Verb problem
apply
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.
Notheless
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Nonetheless
, the possibility of
faliure
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failure
, labour shortage, and collapse could be the cons for
Linking Words
this
Fix the agreement mistake
these
show examples
start-ups. We should try to keep a balance between self-employment and working for other employers.

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structure
Improve order of ideas. Start each paragraph with a clear topic sentence and connect ideas with linking words.
grammar
Fix big grammar and spelling errors. Pay attention to verb form and plural, and correct common mistakes such as 'faliure' to 'failure'.
vocabulary
Use short, simple words. Avoid long, hard phrases so your meaning is clear.
task
Give a full view. Discuss both good and bad points and end with a clear conclusion.
content
The essay shows a true idea of self-employment.
example
Some points are supported with examples (famous people).
structure
There is a short ending that tries to sum up the view.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example
Topic Vocabulary:
  • self-employment
  • freelancing
  • entrepreneurship
  • autonomy
  • financial stability
  • work-life balance
  • financial insecurity
  • lack of support
  • resources
  • long working hours
  • uncertain income
  • job security
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