IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Some people tend to take temporary jobs (they only work for a few months of the year) so that they have time to do other things. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

It is irrefutably true that work is
the
Correct article usage
an
show examples
 integral part
to survive
Change preposition
of surviving
show examples
 in
this
Linking Words
 contemporary era. To utilise
time
Use synonyms
 in other tasks, numerous individuals prefer to do short-term
jobs
Use synonyms
. It has both merits and demerits, which are explained in the upcoming paragraphs.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, the first and foremost benefit of doing
non-permanent
Correct article usage
a non-permanent
show examples
job
Use synonyms
 is that, in
this
Linking Words
 modern era, the masses want to achieve more education. Quality education can only be attained
in
Change preposition
with
show examples
 financial stability. To exemplify,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Stanford University stated in 1947, 67% of Master's students are doing seasonal
jobs
Use synonyms
 with their studies so that
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 they do not become dependent on their families.
Consequently
Linking Words
, as they would not have
financial
Correct article usage
a financial
show examples
 burden, pupils can concentrate more on their studies.
Secondly
Linking Words
,
along with
Linking Words
 money, artists need
time
Use synonyms
 to grow their talent. If they
will
Verb problem
apply
show examples
do full-
time
Use synonyms
jobs
Use synonyms
, less
time
Use synonyms
 would be left for them to practice their art.
As a result
Linking Words
, temporary employees can save more
time
Use synonyms
 to spend on their talent. In juxtaposition, there are
also
Linking Words
 drawbacks
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
 limited-duration
jobs
Use synonyms
. Since these
jobs
Use synonyms
 are of
short
Correct article usage
a short
show examples
 period,
job
Use synonyms
 insecurity exists. Workers get hired for
short
Correct article usage
a short
show examples
 period
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 after the completion of
contract
Correct article usage
the contract
show examples
 timeline, they have to find another
job
Use synonyms
. As sometimes they do not get employment afterwards, numerous people are dealing with
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
mental problems.
Besides
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
, because workers come
temporary
Replace the word
temporarily
show examples
 and
then
Linking Words
 go, it
also
Linking Words
deter
Correct subject-verb agreement
deters
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
productivity. If a new worker
join
Correct subject-verb agreement
joins
show examples
 the work,
employer
Correct article usage
the employer
show examples
 has to provide the training. In
this
Linking Words
 way, a large amount of
time
Use synonyms
 is being wasted in training new employees. In conclusion, after taking all aspects into
my
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
consideration
Punctuation problem
consideration,
show examples
i
Fix capitalization
I
show examples
 would like to
emphasize
Change the spelling
emphasise
show examples
 that
disadvantages
Correct article usage
the disadvantages
show examples
 outweigh the advantages.
Although
Linking Words
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 temporary employment can help in achieving education and enhance talent, negative
aspect
Fix the agreement mistake
aspects
show examples
 of
job
Use synonyms
 insecurity
as well as
Linking Words
 productivity are
also
Linking Words
, which
futher
Correct your spelling
further
 leads to mental issues and
time
Use synonyms
 wastage.

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structure
Plan your essay with a clear map: one intro, two or three ideas in body, then a short conclusion that states your view.
content
Give clear examples for each point and make sure facts are right or not stated as opinions.
grammar
Check grammar and use simple, correct sentences. Watch for subject-verb and article mistakes.
coherence
Use simple linking words to move from one idea to the next, such as 'also', 'but', 'for example', 'therefore'.
Task response
The essay shows both sides of the topic.
Coherence
There are some good links between ideas.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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