IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Countries are becoming more and more similar because people are able to buy the same products anywhere in the world. Do you think this is a positive or negative development.

A lot of countries are beginning to appear the same worldwide
due to
Linking Words
 the fact that it is now easy to purchase anything
at
Change preposition
apply
show examples
all
Correct determiner usage
apply
show examples
from anywhere.
This
Linking Words
 is affecting nations adversely
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 the ensuing reasons will explain
further
Linking Words
. Tourism
Linking Words
to
Punctuation problem
, to
show examples
 begin
with
Punctuation problem
with,
show examples
 has suffered a bigger blow because
people
Use synonyms
 are not travelling
elsewhere
Linking Words
 for sightseeing.
This
Linking Words
 is
due to
Linking Words
 the fact that
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
the very products and services they need have been made available in their home countries.
For instance
Linking Words
, Africans previously travelled so much to America to attend musical concerts of their favourite musicians.
This
Linking Words
 has changed negatively because these shows are now being
organized
Change the spelling
organised
show examples
 in their very own regions, thereby affecting the financial gains of American tourism.
Moreover
Linking Words
, no one will visit a country if the things there are equally available where they live.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, a sense of monotony has been created
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
 has affected cultural diversity.
People
Use synonyms
 lately dress in similar attire, eat common meals everywhere.
This
Linking Words
 has made it difficult to identify the correct tradition of a group of
people
Use synonyms
owing
Punctuation problem
, owing
show examples
 to the fact that almost all items are readily available where they are. To
sight
Verb problem
cite
show examples
 an example, Ghanaians nowadays consume so much foreign
cuisines
Fix the agreement mistake
cuisine
show examples
 because a lot of restaurants
specialize
Change the spelling
specialise
show examples
 in foods that are not traditionally theirs
reducing
Punctuation problem
, reducing
show examples
 how often they actually eat meals
form
Use the right word
from
show examples
 Ghanaian origin.
To sum up
Linking Words
, individuals are not moving abroad to
patronize
Change the spelling
patronise
show examples
 services available to them locally.
Also
Linking Words
, traditions are fading out
due to
Linking Words
 the way
people
Use synonyms
 live and consume foreign products. These are
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 few negative reasons why
globally countries
Correct word order
countries globally
show examples
 look similar.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

structure
Plan your answer before writing. Say your view in the first sentences and list 2 or 3 main ideas you will answer.
structure
Make each paragraph start with a clear idea (topic sentence) and keep it to one point.
grammar
Use simple and correct words. Check small mistakes like 'To sight an example' which should be 'For example'.
content
Give examples that fit the point well and are easy to prove. Avoid weak or irrelevant examples.
coherence
Link ideas with simple words (first, also, but, so) and keep sentences short to help flow.
content
The writer shows a clear view that the trend is negative.
coherence
There are linking words to move ideas.
structure
There is an introduction and a conclusion.
Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • globalization
  • diversity
  • homogenization
  • cultural assimilation
  • global connection
  • local businesses
  • economic impact
  • consumerism
  • standardization
  • westernization
What to do next:
Look at other essays: