IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

The diagram below illustrates how a simple water filter is constructed and how it functions to produce clean drinking water. Write a report for a university, lecturer describing the information shown below. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The flowchart shows the construction of
simple
Correct article usage
a simple
show examples
water
Use synonyms
filter
Use synonyms
 and its function for drinking
water
Use synonyms
 production.
Overall
Linking Words
, it is readily apparent that one needs
separate
Correct article usage
a separate
show examples
 container for
Use synonyms
water
Correct article usage
the water
show examples
filter
Use synonyms
 and the end product, which is the clean drinking
water
Use synonyms
. First of all, impure
water
Use synonyms
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
 contains sediments and small
particles
Punctuation problem
particles,
show examples
 is poured
to
Change preposition
into
show examples
 the simple
water
Use synonyms
filter
Use synonyms
.
Next,
Linking Words
the
water
Use synonyms
 seeps through the sand on the
top most
Use the right word
top-most
show examples
 layer of the
filter
Use synonyms
to begin
Linking Words
 its first filtration process. In
this
Linking Words
 step, most of the bigger particles in the impure
water
Use synonyms
remains
Correct subject-verb agreement
remain
show examples
 on top of the sand.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, the
water
Use synonyms
 is filtered for the second time in
charcoal
Correct article usage
a charcoal
show examples
 layer, which
rule
Correct subject-verb agreement
rules
show examples
 out sediments and impurities. At
last
Linking Words
, the final process occurs in the lowest gravel layer that
Use synonyms
filter
Correct subject-verb agreement
filters
show examples
 out smaller
dusts
Fix the agreement mistake
dust
show examples
 and particles. After going through 3 layers of sand, charcoal, and gravel, the
water
Use synonyms
 becomes clear and residue-free. The
Use synonyms
water
Check wording
apply
show examples
clean
water
Use synonyms
 is
then
Linking Words
 transported by 2 S-shaped pipes to a separate storage tank.
Finally
Linking Words
, by opening the tap attached to the storage tank, clean
water
Use synonyms
 will flow out and
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
be
show examples
 ready to drink.

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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
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Basic structure: Add more body paragraphs.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words water, filter with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 2 basic words for charts were used.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • diagram
  • illustrates
  • simple water filter
  • constructed
  • functions
  • produce
  • clean drinking water
  • main features
  • comparisons
  • relevant
  • introduction
  • explanation
  • construction
  • description
  • filtered water
  • original water source
  • conclusion
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