IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Some people think that competition at work, at school in daily life is a good thing. Others believe that we should try to cooperate more rather than competing against each other.

Several
people
Use synonyms
 have opinions that working individually to be the best as an employee, a student
or
Punctuation problem
, or
show examples
 a person is
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 positive thing.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, other
people
Use synonyms
 view that we prefer
collaborate to
Correct word order
to collaborate
show examples
 cooperate
other
Change preposition
with other
show examples
people
Use synonyms
. In my
views
Fix the agreement mistake
view
show examples
, I agree more
in
Change preposition
with
show examples
second
Correct article usage
the second
show examples
 opinion because
people
Use synonyms
 have to help each other and discuss more. As
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
human
Fix the agreement mistake
humans
show examples
, we cannot
lie
Verb problem
deny
show examples
 that we need each other to
life
Replace the word
live
show examples
 in
this
Linking Words
 world. That’s the world work, we can
life
Replace the word
live
show examples
 with
Correct article usage
a cozy
show examples
cozy
Change the spelling
cosy
show examples
 home, delicious dinner, clean office or a clean school, because of
others
Check wording
others'
show examples
 help. Behind one famous company,
is
Correct pronoun usage
it is
show examples
 not only because the CEO was great, but behind it so many
people
Use synonyms
 work hard to reach the achievement.
Human
Fix the agreement mistake
Humans
show examples
 have
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
strength
Fix the agreement mistake
strengths
show examples
 and
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
weaknesses, and if
you
Correct pronoun usage
we
show examples
 work together, and we
completed
Verb problem
complement
show examples
 each
others
Fix the agreement mistake
other
show examples
, we can reach
hinger
Correct your spelling
higher
 our dreams that we expected before.
Second
Correct article usage
The second
show examples
 reason is
Use synonyms
people
Correct word choice
that people
show examples
 still need
discuss
Verb problem
to discuss
show examples
,
for example
Linking Words
, if you have a problem about anything
you
Verb problem
you've
show examples
 been through, you can talk to
people
Use synonyms
 older than you
,
Punctuation problem
;
show examples
 we need
others
Check wording
others'
show examples
view
Correct subject-verb agreement
views
show examples
 to get what we need. I always remember my parents told me,
have
Wrong verb form
having
show examples
 a discussion with other
people
Use synonyms
 is
closed
Replace the word
close
show examples
 to
read
Wrong verb form
reading
show examples
 a book, it means you can see the world you
never
Verb problem
have never
show examples
see
Wrong verb form
seen
show examples
. Talk with our
grandparent
Fix the agreement mistake
grandparents
show examples
, talk to our teacher, or even a
strangers
Fix the agreement mistake
stranger
show examples
 from other countries we have not visited before. The conclusion is
collaboration
Correct word choice
that collaboration
show examples
 in a group discussion and
help
Wrong verb form
helping
show examples
 each other is much wiser than always
even
Punctuation problem
, even
show examples
 though some other
people
Use synonyms
 may think competition is the best.

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task
Make your view clear in the opening and keep it in all parts of the essay.
structure
Give 2 or 3 reasons and small examples for each.
coherence
Use linking words to move from one idea to the next.
language
Check grammar and use short, easy sentences.
content
The idea of working with others is clear.
examples
Some real life examples are used.
language
Simple words are used well.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • innovation
  • productivity
  • excel
  • outperform
  • advancements
  • academic standards
  • work ethic
  • stress
  • anxiety
  • unhealthy rivalries
  • harmonious
  • supportive
  • collaborative learning
  • social skills
  • communication skills
  • sense of community
  • collective goals
What to do next:
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