The table below shows the result of a survey asked 6800 Scottish (aged 16 years and over) whether they had taken part in different cultural activities in the past 12 months. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The table graph illustrates the feedback from a survey about those who participated in various cultural activities by those aged 16 years old. The figures are presented in the number of people aged. In overview, attending performance consistently had the largest value among those above 16 age,
while
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computer-based had the smallest. Some categories showed a decreasing number,
whereas
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others experienced a slight increase. The visual arts were joined by the young generation, who were 16-24, and accounted for 30%. Among 16-
24-years-old
Correct your spelling
24-year-olds
joined
Correct pronoun usage
who joined
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the visual arts accounted for 30% In
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(year),
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(category) accounted for
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(value), which
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(decreased/increased/remained stable) to
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(value) by
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(year).
Similarly
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,
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(another category)
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(rose/fell/remained stable) from
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to
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over the same period.
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(another category) remained almost unchanged, maintaining approximately
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throughout the period. Example: In 1994, Ireland accounted for 14.8%, which decreased to 10% by 2004.
Similarly
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, Canada’s unemployment rate fell slightly from 10.6% to 7.7%. Poland remained almost unchanged at the highest rate throughout the period.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "similarly".
Basic structure: Use less body paragraphs.
Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
Vocabulary: Replace the words ___ with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "remained" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "stable" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "unchanged" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "slight" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the eighth paragraph.
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