Should young people follow older people's example or it is good for them to challenge older people's opinions and thoughts. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

The discussion is whether
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
youngsters should follow the ideas and point of view of their
elders
Use synonyms
or oppose them. I believe in the uniqueness of a
genaration
Correct your spelling
generation
, and to accept or decline the teachings of
elders
Use synonyms
is subjective to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
a particular
idividual
Correct your spelling
individual
or an action. Over the years, people of age have guided the younger population. Wisdom comes with experience, and with experience come followers. Some decisions taken by our
elders
Use synonyms
shape our future.
For example
Linking Words
, the idea that education brings success
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
has driven many young minds to pursue great careers.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, the concept of
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
living with the parents,
that
Correct word choice
which
show examples
we have seen our
elders
Use synonyms
practice,
bring
Correct subject-verb agreement
brings
show examples
a sense of togetherness and belonging.
Such
Linking Words
teachings and experiences
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
help us build a strong emotional character.
Whereas
Linking Words
, some thoughts and
believes
Replace the word
beliefs
show examples
of older
acquintances
Correct your spelling
acquaintances
can hinder
growth of the
Correct word order
the growth of
show examples
society and should be declined by
upcomming
Correct your spelling
upcoming
generations. The greatest example of
this
Linking Words
is the
world wide
Use the right word
worldwide
show examples
opposed idea of patriarchy. The older notion, that a certain gender is better than the other, has been disregarded by many youngsters before and
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
being relentlessly questioned today.
In addition
Linking Words
, there are some crude remarks passed by
elders
Use synonyms
with
more
Correct article usage
a more
show examples
religious base, about the clothing or gender preferences of an individual.
Such
Linking Words
character assasinating
Correct your spelling
character-assassinating
thoughts are a threat to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society and should be corrected by the
better educated
Use the right word
better-educated
show examples
, younger crowd. In conclusion,
although
Linking Words
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
elders
Use synonyms
give us some good suggestions, it is upon the
shoulder
Fix the agreement mistake
shoulders
show examples
of the youngster,
wheather
Correct your spelling
whether
to accept them or not.
Hence
Linking Words
, I strongly believe that it is unique to personalities and greatly depends on the idea
whether
Change preposition
of whether
show examples
it would be followed or challenged .

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

structure
Plan the essay with a clear plan: intro, two body parts for each view, and a short conclusion that states your view.
development
State one main point for each view and add one or two clear examples that link to your point.
language
Check spelling and fix big word mistakes, keep simple form and short, clear sentences.
coherence
Use linking words so ideas fit well; avoid long, hard sentences.
content
The essay shows both sides, and your own view.
content
You give real examples for some ideas.
structure
There is a clear ending that states your view.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: