IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The bar chart compares the percentage of time Australian mothers and fathers spent helping their children with four activities in 2013

The bar chart illustrates the percentage of time Australian mothers and fathers spent assisting their children with four
deferent
Use the right word
different
show examples
 activities in 2013.
Overall
Linking Words
,
internet
Correct article usage
the internet
show examples
 shows
increase
Correct article usage
an increase
show examples
,
in
Linking Words
contrast
Punctuation problem
contrast,
show examples
 the TV shows
slight
Correct article usage
a slight
show examples
 drop. Newspapers and radio experienced a small decrease throughout the period.
Internet
Correct article usage
The Internet
show examples
 experienced
jump
Correct article usage
a jump
show examples
 to about 33% in 2013,
in
Linking Words
contrast
Add a comma
contrast,
show examples
 TV showed a small
decreased
Replace the word
decrease
show examples
 to around 58%.
Newspaper
Correct article usage
The newspaper
show examples
 had dropped to around 40% in 2013,
while
Linking Words
radio
Correct article usage
the radio
show examples
 went down to 38% in 2013.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "in contrast".
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 85%.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "percentage" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "shows" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "decrease" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
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