IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2.5

The diagram details the process of makong smoked fish

The diagram illustrates the data about the process of producing smoked
fish
Use synonyms
 by divergent stages.
Overall
Linking Words
, all the steps to prepare the smoked
fish
Use synonyms
requires
Correct subject-verb agreement
require
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 manual
labor
Change the spelling
labour
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.
While
Linking Words
 the
function
Check wording
function's
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 initial stages are to catch and deliver
fish
Use synonyms
 to
cooking
Correct article usage
the cooking
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 area, the final steps are in order to preserve and distribute them to markets. At
first
Add a comma
first,
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 the main part of the product is collected by seizing it with nets.
Then
Linking Words
, they are transported to the port where
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
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is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
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 frozen and cleaned in
a
Correct article usage
apply
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crystal
clean
Use the right word
clear
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 water, in order to get rid of the dirty layer on the skin. After that, it is cut and colored to make the appearance of the product more appealing.
Although
Linking Words
 the
fish
Use synonyms
 underwent
cleaning
Correct article usage
a cleaning
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 process, it is not edible and not safe to consume.
Therefore
Linking Words
, it is smoked
which
Punctuation problem
, which
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 kills all infectious bacteria and makes the intake possible (or may be pleasant). In the
last
Linking Words
 stages, as it was mentioned, it focuses more on preservation and distribution, which
in
Punctuation problem
, in
show examples
 detailed
interpretation
Punctuation problem
interpretation,
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 sounds like
this
Linking Words
:
Punctuation problem
:
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 it is put in
storages
Fix the agreement mistake
storage
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 which are
affluent
Use the right word
well-equipped
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 with
their
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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freezing cold
inside
Rephrase
apply
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. It is ported to shops where it is sold.

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improvement
The essay names the steps and has an overall view, which is good. Improve how you fit facts to the diagram. Stick to what the diagram shows and keep to the same order.
improvement
The key steps are shown, but some facts are wrong or unclear. Do not add ideas about safety or value that are not in the diagram. Use facts you can prove from the diagram.
improvement
Make the task clear with a simple start. Use a short intro and a short end that restate the steps.
improvement
Connect ideas with easy links like First, Next, Then, Finally. Use one idea per line or paragraph to keep flow smooth.
improvement
Be careful with grammar and word choice. Use simple words. Check for spelling and keep sentences short.
structure
The writing gives a rough set of steps in order.
content
There is a clear overall view at the start.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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