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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Caring for children is probably the most important job in any society. Because of this, all mothers and fathers should be required to take a course that prepares them to be good parents. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this view?

It is true
,
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apply
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that in most societal norms, taking care of
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child
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a child
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considered
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is considered
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 to be
first
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the first
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 priority. Being educated to become a responsible parent is a
thrival
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vital
 part of
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child's
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a child's
show examples
 nurturing process, I agree with the statement above.
People
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 who decide to make a family should know at least in theory what responsibilities they might have and how to foster a good person. On the one hand, from the
starting
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beginning
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 of time,
people
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 had been raising
a
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children
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child
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 and giving them at least
proper
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a proper
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 education and manners before
so called
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so-called
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"parental
courses
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" existed.
For instance
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, there
a
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are a
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lot of public figures who were
raise
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raised
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 by
the
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apply
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parents
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 who do not know anything about special knowledge on how to nurture a
child
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 , but they still
suceeded
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succeeded
. It is not a miracle that somehow there are good parental attitudes in most of us.
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Firstly
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Firstly,
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 it comes from our nature, we
could
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can
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 see
most
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that most
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of
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apply
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the
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apply
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species in nature tend to take care of their
child
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,
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.
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Secondly
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Secondly,
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 our
parents
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also
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 pass
to
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on to
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 us their behaviours
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such
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, such
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 as parental
-
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apply
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character
shaping
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, shaping
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 things like their knowledge,
attidues
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attitudes
 and etc. They could become
a
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apply
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figures for us to mirror in our
fututre
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future
child
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However
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, despite all the facts above, I personally do not think
people
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 should forget about
possibility
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the possibility
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 to enhance
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child's
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the child's
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nurture
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nurturing
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 process
,
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.
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 For
generations
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generations,
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people
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 used to pass on their parental behaviours , the way of interactions with
a
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apply
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children, to their
children
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children,
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 where evolved
realtionships
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relationships
 might be out of reach.
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Additionally
Add a comma
Additionally,
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this
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creating
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creates
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 a loop where mistakes that our
elder
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older
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people
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did
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made
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 could
pass
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be passed
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 on to
our
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apply
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future
humans
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generations
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. The main reason
of
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for
show examples
 taking
courses
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 is to
having
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have
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an
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apply
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access to the
knowlegde
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knowledge
 of human
history
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history,
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 where every success and
fail
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failure
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 in family creating events that
occurued
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occurred
 in the past.
This
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 information
particularly would
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would particularly
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 help
to
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apply
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Familiy pshycologists
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family psychologists
,
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apply
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 to examine and give proper advice for
an
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apply
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individal
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individuals
 and
diffrent
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different
 kinds of families. A key benefit from
this
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 kind of treatment would be leaving out of troubles individuals of generational curse, where bad habits could be passed
upon
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on
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. A final point, before making a family
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, this
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this
Fix the agreement mistake
these
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courses
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 could help
parents
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 to understand the main
diffulties
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difficulties
 they might have
the
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, the
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 real
requiremnets
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requirements
 for being a good parent and
finally
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 to make them understand are their
faimly
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family
 is suitable
fir
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for
show examples
 giving
a
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apply
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birth to a
child
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. In conclusion , I completely agree that
courses
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 could help
people
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 to understand who wants to become
parents
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 and
giving
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give
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 them essential knowledge before they even create one.
This
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 will help to leave mistakes that have
occured
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occurred
 before.

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structure
Put your view in the first part and keep one idea in each paragraph.
content
Give one strong reason in each paragraph and a small example.
coherence
Use easy linking words (and, but, also, for example) to join ideas and show order.
language
Check the spelling and fix big errors (e.g., there are a lot of, future, psychology).
style
Use clear and simple words so the text is easy to read.
task response
You state a clear view and you end with a closing line that repeats that view.
content
There are some ideas on why courses can help and how they fit with family life.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Parenting skills
  • Child development
  • Mandatory courses
  • Nutrition
  • Discipline strategies
  • Effective communication
  • Government regulations
  • Voluntary workshops
  • Community support
  • Cultural backgrounds
  • Personal beliefs
  • Emotionally stable
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