IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

It has been noted that many people who had a big impact on the world gave themselves completely to their work and did not bother with the idea of “work-life balance”. To what extent should people try to have a good work-life balance? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Work
Life
Use synonyms
Balance
Use synonyms
 is crucial in everyone’s
life
Use synonyms
but
Punctuation problem
, but
show examples
 if someone really wants to achieve something
that is
Linking Words
 not common or
never
Verb problem
has never
show examples
 been done,
then
Linking Words
 they should
willing
Verb problem
be willing
show examples
 to sacrifice their other commitments to the world. First and foremost,
lets
Use the right word
let's
show examples
 talk about the importance of finding the
balance
Use synonyms
 between work and
life
Use synonyms
. Most people believe that
this
Linking Words
 is the most important part of
human
Correct article usage
a human
show examples
 being's
life
Use synonyms
. Working overtime can
impant
Correct your spelling
impact
negatevity
Correct your spelling
a
 person's personal and professional lives
both
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
. They would spend less time with their families and get fed up workload.
According to
Linking Words
 recent studies, people working more
that
Correct word choice
than
show examples
 10
hours
Use synonyms
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
a day are taking 3 times the
more
Fix the agreement mistake
apply
show examples
stress
than
Change preposition
as
show examples
 a population
works
Correct pronoun usage
that works
show examples
 8
hours
Use synonyms
.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, they would get health issues like blood pressure, diabetes and more because of no time for exercise. In contradiction, individuals who
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
show examples
 achieved
extra-ordinary
Use the right word
extraordinary
show examples
 things
wheather
Correct your spelling
whether
 in sports, science or any other
feilds
Correct your spelling
fields
, have gone beyond their work-
life
Use synonyms
balance
Use synonyms
. They dedicated their lives to their
passsion
Correct your spelling
passion
 to achieve
an
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
excellance
Correct your spelling
excellence
 in a particular field. For
an
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
instance, Elon Musk still works more than 15
hours
Use synonyms
 a day to be
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 richest man on
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
earth, but he is willing to sacrifice health and family. Passion
does't
Correct your spelling
doesn't
 follow a schedule
unitil
Correct your spelling
until
its
Correct pronoun usage
it
show examples
start
Correct subject-verb agreement
starts
show examples
gernerating
Correct your spelling
generating
 income. No entrepreneurs in
this
Linking Words
 world work 8
hours
Use synonyms
 a day. In my
opnion
Correct your spelling
opinion
,
young
Correct article usage
the young
show examples
 generation should not be worried about their work-
life
Use synonyms
balance
Use synonyms
.
Infact
Correct your spelling
In fact
Linking Words
this
Punctuation problem
, this
show examples
 is the time they can
maxmise
Correct your spelling
maximise
 their potential and could recover
easy
Replace the word
easily
show examples
 if something goes wrong.
While
Linking Words
 if a person
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
 a
family
Punctuation problem
family,
show examples
than
Use the right word
then
show examples
 they should find the equilibrium to keep
thing
Fix the agreement mistake
things
show examples
 running smoothly.

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structure
Make the main idea clear in the first lines. Each paragraph should keep to one point that links to the question.
language
Fix spelling and grammar. Read aloud to hear mistakes.
content
Show both sides in a balanced view and state your own view clearly with reasons.
content
The writer tries to discuss work life balance and its effects.
content
An example is given (Elon Musk) to show long hours to reach goals.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Well-being
  • Productivity
  • Fulfilling
  • Time management
  • Prioritize
  • Burnout
  • Boundaries
  • Dedication
  • Personal fulfillment
  • Efficiency
What to do next:
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