IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people think that private health care is better for people. Others say that health care should be free of charge and run by the government. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of private health service. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Nowadays, there are differing views regarding the importance of
health
Use synonyms
care
Use synonyms
services
Use synonyms
.
Although
Linking Words
 many individuals solely focus on the advantages of private
health
Use synonyms
care
Use synonyms
,
such
Linking Words
 as better customer
Use synonyms
services
Fix the agreement mistake
service
show examples
, others raise concerns about
this
Linking Words
 subject.
This
Linking Words
 essay will discuss both perspectives and
finally
Linking Words
 explain why I strongly agree with free
health
Use synonyms
care
Use synonyms
services
Use synonyms
. The two reasons for agreement are
people
Use synonyms
's affordability and better outcomes. On the one hand, some
people
Use synonyms
 believe that one of the significant benefits of private
health
Use synonyms
services
Use synonyms
 is better customer
Use synonyms
services
Fix the agreement mistake
service
show examples
. One reason is that they claim public
health
Use synonyms
 centres are usually overcrowded.
This
Linking Words
 issue causes worse
health
Use synonyms
services
Use synonyms
 for
people
Use synonyms
 who really need them.
For example
Linking Words
, my uncle went to a public clinic for a routine check-up, but he caught the flu. He said that when he was waiting for his appointment, many
people
Use synonyms
 there were suffering from the flu, and
staff
Correct article usage
the staff
show examples
 could not manage the population properly.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, others argue that it is vital for the government to consider free
health
Use synonyms
services
Use synonyms
 for
people
Use synonyms
. The main reason for
this
Linking Words
 idea is
people
Use synonyms
's affordability. It means some
people
Use synonyms
 cannot afford to pay for treatment. If they cannot receive medications or cures, public
health
Use synonyms
 will absolutely be affected by
this
Linking Words
 matter.
For example
Linking Words
, during pandemics
such
Linking Words
 as
Covid-19
Use the right word
COVID-19
show examples
, if some
people
Use synonyms
 were not able to receive
care
Use synonyms
services
Use synonyms
, the number of deaths would be unimaginable.
Moreover
Linking Words
, evidence has shown that
this
Linking Words
 method has a great influence on both individuals and society. The NHS in the UK is a good example of free
health
Use synonyms
care
Use synonyms
services
Use synonyms
. Recent research has shown the great public
health
Use synonyms
 rate in England
due to
Linking Words
 the availability of free
services
Use synonyms
.
Additionally
Linking Words
, the problem of being disorganised, mentioned before, can be addressed through better plans
Linking Words
such
Punctuation problem
, such
show examples
 as more
health
Use synonyms
care
Use synonyms
 centres and efficient observations. In conclusion,
although
Linking Words
 some merits are considered for private
health
Use synonyms
care
Use synonyms
services
Use synonyms
, based on evidence-based results, I strongly believe in how free
services
Use synonyms
 lead to healthier individuals and communities.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

content
State your view clearly in the first part and keep it in the rest of the essay.
structure
Give two clear reasons for your view and back them with more detail.
language
Check simple grammar and spell common words the same way.
content
You show both sides and give your own height.
language
You use real life example and a well known service.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: