More and more wild animals are on the verge of extinction and others are on the endangered list. What are the reasons for it is? What can be done to solve this problem?

Recently, there has been an increase in the number of animals going extinct, with others being listed as endangered.
This
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situation can largely be attributed to human interference,
while
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deterring wildlife and endangered
species
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from extermination requires collective action taken by authorities and individuals to
maximize
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maximise
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the preventative power of countermeasures.

 Human induction has resulted in animal demise. The primary implication of
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is habitat loss driven by human expansion as we develop land for housing, agriculture, and commerce.
This
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land encroachment deprives inhabitants of essential nesting spots, feeding areas, and breaks up migration corridors. The dodo bird, thylacine, and passenger pigeon are examples of
species
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that vanished
as a result
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of
such
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destructive human influence.

 Apart from that, pesticides and water and plastic pollution come next on the list of causes of the trend. Pesticides, full of toxic chemicals, are widely used by farmers to intensify crop production, yet take a heavy toll on the well-being of local animals and insects, deteriorating their immune system and wiping out vulnerable
species
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.
Along with
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this
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,
contaminated
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contamination
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with microplastic rivers and other environments adversely
affect
Correct subject-verb agreement
affects
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blood
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the blood
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and cardiovascular systems, to name but a few. With
this
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impaired health, animal
species
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are less likely to withstand various diseases or reproduce healthy offspring, gradually declining in number.

 To minimize the detrimental effects stated above, there are some efficient solutions, one of which is legislation reform. If bodies in power are to pass stringent, environmentally aware regulations to run conservation projects, a notable number of threatened animals can be protected and
therefore
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bred to be released to their natural habitat afterwards. To illustrate, Africa's black rhinos and black bucks in the Himalayas were rescued at the very verge of extinction when the local municipal organizations imposed restrictive measures in fishing and hunting industries, accompanied by the implementation of captivity-breeding initiatives.

 For
this
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approach to achieve much success, members of society should work cooperatively. The use of environmentally sustainable products, educating the public, and supporting animal conservation can make a real difference on a local level. Singapore, with its ban on disposing of litter in public places, the USA, with its fishers actively informed about vulnerable fish populations, and Japan, with its great support of green companies, showcase the efficacy of
such
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collaborative action.

 Having considered all the aspects mentioned above, it becomes clear that the responsibility for the eradication of animal populations falls mostly on human activity.
However
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, with eco-friendly legislation and public support at hand,
this
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phenomenon can
noticeably be
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be noticeably
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mitigated.

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strength
The writing has many good ideas. The answer covers causes and fixes well.
structure
Make the flow easier by using one idea per paragraph and short links like 'also' and 'but'.
lexis
Use plain word more. Some words are hard or use the wrong form. Try 'people' or 'human work' instead of long words.
conclusion
Finish with a short, clear ending that restates the main point.
content
Give real, easy facts and small examples that fit each idea.
content
The essay talks about why animals die and how we can save them with clear examples.
content
Examples like rhino and panda show good link to real world act.
structure
There is a closing line that shows action is needed.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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