IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Some people say that the main environmental problem of our time is the loss of particular species of plants and animals. Others say that there are more important environmental problems. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Some people believe that
Use synonyms
issues
Fix the agreement mistake
issue
show examples
 of the environment
currently
Rephrase
apply
show examples
is the destruction of some biological plants and animals. Others,
however
Linking Words
, argue that there are urgent
problems
Correct word choice
environmental problems
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 of the environment.
This
Linking Words
 essay will discuss both views and give my own opinion. On the one hand, those who think of the loss of plants and animals are of the view that they play a role in
biodiversity
Correct article usage
the biodiversity
show examples
 balance. If these species die, it will affect the availability of food
which
Punctuation problem
, which
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 can threaten human survival.
For example
Linking Words
, the extinction of pollinators
such
Linking Words
 as birds could severely affect food production worldwide.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, if a
specie
Fix the agreement mistake
species
show examples
 becomes extinct, it can never be recovered.
Therefore
Linking Words
, it is important to protect endangered species in the environment.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, others believe that there are
much
Fix the agreement mistake
many
show examples
 more important
issues
Use synonyms
 to deal with than just the disappearance of biological creatures. Climate change, deforestation and pollution are pressing
issues
Use synonyms
. Climate
Linking Words
for
Punctuation problem
, for
show examples
 instance, is responsible for rising sea levels and devastating weather conditions in many parts of the world. Air and water pollution cannot be left out
as
Punctuation problem
, as
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 they have caused serious health problems and reduced the quality of life of many people.
According to
Linking Words
 the supporters of
this
Linking Words
 stance, efforts to solve initial opinion will be ineffective if these environmental problems are not addressed. In my opinion,
while
Linking Words
 the loss of species is serious, broader environmental
issues
Use synonyms
such
Linking Words
 as climate change deserve greater attention as
this
Linking Words
 approach offers more comprehensive and
long term
Use the right word
long-term
show examples
 solutions.

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structure
Make a clear plan: intro, view one, view two, your view, then end.
coherence
Use linking words to show flow, like also, but, and therefore.
content
Give a simple point for each side and a short example.
grammar
Try to use plain words. Fix small error like specie to species.
conclusion
End with a short line that repeats your view.
grammar
Check grammar and spell small words well.
structure
Clear plan with four parts is seen.
stance
The writer takes the side in the end and fits the task.
content
The essay uses a good example to show why less of some life matters.
Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • biodiversity
  • extinction
  • habitat loss
  • ecosystem
  • food chain
  • imbalance
  • interconnected
  • climate change
  • pollution
  • personal actions
  • policy changes
  • education
  • awareness
What to do next:
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