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Writing Samples
Band 7

The bar chart below shows the percentage of Australian men and women in different age groups who did regular physical activity in 2010.

The bar chart illustrates the percentage of Australian
males
Use synonyms
 and
females
Use synonyms
 in different
age
Use synonyms
 groups doing regular physical activity in 2010.
Overall
Linking Words
, the proportion of both genders doing regular sports was over 40% in all
age
Use synonyms
 groups, except for
males
Use synonyms
 (39.5%) aged 25 to 34.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the figure for
females
Use synonyms
 exceeded that of
males
Use synonyms
 to varying extents after the
age
Use synonyms
 of 25.
By contrast
Linking Words
,
males
Use synonyms
 recorded a higher percentage in the 15–24
age
Use synonyms
 group. In detail, among those aged 15 to 24, 52.8% of
males
Use synonyms
 exercised regularly,
while
Linking Words
 only 47.7% of
females
Use synonyms
 did.
Nevertheless
Linking Words
, the proportion of
females
Use synonyms
 aged 25 to 34 surpassed that of
males
Use synonyms
, at 48.9% and 39.5% respectively.
Besides
Linking Words
, the gap between them widened to 13% in the following ten years.
However
Linking Words
, it narrowed after the
age
Use synonyms
 of 44. After peaking at 53.3% in the 45-54
age
Use synonyms
 group, the percentage of
females
Use synonyms
 aged 65 and over declined to 47.1%,
whereas
Linking Words
 that of
males
Use synonyms
 grew steadily from 43.1% to 46.7%.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 73%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words males, females, age with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "percentage" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Physical activity
  • Regular exercise
  • Age demographics
  • Participation rate
  • Trend analysis
  • Gender disparity
  • Health initiatives
  • Public health policies
  • Statistical comparison
  • Lifestyle choices
  • Work commitments
  • Age-related factors
  • Preventative health
  • Exercise habits
  • Surveillance data
  • Motivators and barriers
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