IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

The bar chart below shows the percentage of Australian men and women in different age groups who did regular physical activity in 2010.

The bar chart illustrates the proportions of Australian
men
Use synonyms
 and
women
Use synonyms
 in six different age groups who engaged in regular physical activity in 2010.
Overall
Linking Words
,
women
Use synonyms
 were generally more physically active than
men
Use synonyms
 in most age groups. The highest participation rate was recorded among
women
Use synonyms
 aged 45–54,
whereas
Linking Words
 the lowest figure was observed for
men
Use synonyms
 aged 35–44. Among those aged 15–24,
men
Use synonyms
 were the only group that surpassed
women
Use synonyms
, with participation rates of 52.8% and 47.7% respectively.
By contrast
Linking Words
, in the 25–34 age group, the pattern reversed, as the proportion of females (48.9%) exceeded that of males (42.2%).
This
Linking Words
 female advantage became more pronounced among people aged 35–44 and 45–54, where
women
Use synonyms
 reached a peak of 53.3%, compared with only 39.5% and 43.1% for
men
Use synonyms
. In the two oldest groups (55–64 and 65 and over), the gender gap narrowed noticeably, with both figures converging at around the mid-to-high forties.

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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 73%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words men, women with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportions" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Physical activity
  • Regular exercise
  • Age demographics
  • Participation rate
  • Trend analysis
  • Gender disparity
  • Health initiatives
  • Public health policies
  • Statistical comparison
  • Lifestyle choices
  • Work commitments
  • Age-related factors
  • Preventative health
  • Exercise habits
  • Surveillance data
  • Motivators and barriers
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