IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

Some people argue that spending a lot of money holdingn birthday parties,wedding parties and other celebration is a waste of money. However, others believe such parties are important for individual and for society. Discuss both views give your opinion.

Some
people
Use synonyms
 believe that spending a large amount of
money
Use synonyms
 at
parties
Use synonyms
 is meaningless,
while
Linking Words
 others think that
parties
Use synonyms
 can
make
Verb problem
have
show examples
positive
Correct article usage
a positive
show examples
effects
Fix the agreement mistake
effect
show examples
.
This
Linking Words
 essay will discuss both perspectives before presenting my own view. On the one hand, some
people
Use synonyms
 argue that
parties
Use synonyms
 are crucial for
people
Use synonyms
 and
community
Correct article usage
the community
show examples
. We can meet various
people
Use synonyms
 in many parts
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
 can extend our social relationships.
Moreover
Linking Words
, if we have
own
Correct pronoun usage
our own
show examples
 business, it is
great
Correct article usage
a great
show examples
 chance to advertise or improve
your
Correct pronoun usage
our
show examples
 company.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, a large
amount
Check wording
number
show examples
 of
Use synonyms
party
Fix the agreement mistake
parties
show examples
 makes
people
Use synonyms
 attractive and be
recognized
Change the spelling
recognised
show examples
to
Change preposition
by
show examples
 others.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, some
people
Use synonyms
 believe that
party
Use synonyms
 is
money
Use synonyms
wasting
Verb problem
apply
show examples
.
some
Fix capitalization
Some
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 spend
massive
Correct article usage
a massive
show examples
money
Use synonyms
 at
Use synonyms
party
Correct article usage
a party
show examples
.
For example
Linking Words
,
wedding
Correct article usage
a wedding
show examples
party
Use synonyms
 can cost almost 60,000$ in one day.
Also
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
 tend to show others how much
money
Use synonyms
 they have. They spend on fancy things and useless products just for
Use synonyms
party
Correct article usage
the party
show examples
. In my opinion,
this
Linking Words
 view is more convincing. In conclusion,
while
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 some
people
Use synonyms
 believe that spending a large amount of
money
Use synonyms
 on
parties
Use synonyms
 can bring social and professional benefits, I believe that
such
Linking Words
 spending is largely unnecessary.
Although
Linking Words
parties
Use synonyms
 can be enjoyable, using excessive
money
Use synonyms
 for a short-term event rarely provides long-term value.
Therefore
Linking Words
, it is more reasonable to spend
money
Use synonyms
 more carefully rather than wasting it on expensive
parties
Use synonyms
.

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content
Be clear early on what you think. Do not show the other view as your own.
structure
Make each paragraph have a true topic sentence. Keep one main idea per paragraph.
grammar
Use easy grammar. Check big errors like missing words and wrong forms.
coherence
Link words help the flow. Use also, but, however, in addition to add nice flow.
task
If you use money figures, write them in a clear way with words, not in a strange sign.
content
The essay tries to cover both sides.
example
A cost figure is used as an example.
coherence
Some linking words are used.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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