IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

Some people think that adverts control what we purchase, while others think they are useful sources of information on products. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

Advertisements have become a significant topic of debate.
While
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 some
people
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 argue that it is a good source to gain
information
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 about any
products
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, others say they have the ability to influence their purchase.
However
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, I strongly believe that
ads
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 are a great way to learn about the
products
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 before buying them.
This
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 essay will discuss both perspectives. On the one hand,
ads
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 provide some advantages for individuals. One major benefit is
allow
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allows
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people
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 to gain more
information
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 about
products
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.
For instance
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,
people
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 can search
about
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for
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 the
products
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 through social media before making decisions, as influencers share with their followers both merits and demerits.
Moreover
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, advertisements provide images, specific data, and how they can use it correctly.
Overall
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, adverts are the best
scores
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source
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 of
information
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.
On the other hand
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, some
people
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 enjoy buying
any
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apply
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items from
ads
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. Some of them provide wrong
information
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 just in order to attract more consumers, which leads to negative effects.
For example
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, my sister prefers buying trendy
products
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 and clothes from
ads
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 and spends a lot of money within a few days.
As a result
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, she wastes her money on unnecessary items. In conclusion,
although
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 adverts have several drawbacks
such
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 as
,
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apply
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facke
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fake
 data and outcomes, I
frimely
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firmly
 believe it is a positive source because it allows
people
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 to search about the
products
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 before buying them.

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coherence
Make each idea clear in one part. Use one point per paragraph and end with a clear view.
grammar
Use simple, clear words and fix small errors that hide meaning.
content
Add one or two clear examples that show your view and link them to your point.
content
The writer shows a view and tries to cover both sides.
structure
There is a closing line that states your view.
Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • persuasive techniques
  • celebrity endorsements
  • catchy slogans
  • emotional appeals
  • materialistic culture
  • competitive pricing
  • consumer demand
  • brand loyalty
  • consumer behavior
  • innovations
  • informed choices
  • misleading claims
What to do next:
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