IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Some people have decided to reduce the number of times they fly every year or to stop flying altogether. Do you think the environmental benefits of this development outweigh the disadvantages for individuals and businesses? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Air transportation is the fastest option to go internationally. The increasing demand
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 flying has made airline businesses grow rapidly. The immediate growth significantly
give
Correct subject-verb agreement
gives
show examples
negative
Correct article usage
a negative
show examples
 impact
to
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the environment
due to
Linking Words
airplane's
Check wording
aeroplanes'
show examples
 high carbon
emission
Fix the agreement mistake
emissions
show examples
. Some people decided to limit the
amount
Check wording
number
show examples
 of
flight
Fix the agreement mistake
flights
show examples
 they
catch
Verb problem
take
show examples
 each year to reduce their carbon footprints. In my opinion, the environmental benefit will be felt if the idea
was
Wrong verb form
is
show examples
done
Verb problem
adopted
show examples
 by at least 30%
passangers
Correct your spelling
passengers
.
Hence
Linking Words
, airlines will reduce the routes and directly reduce
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
carbon
emission
Fix the agreement mistake
emissions
show examples
.
However
Linking Words
, it is obvious that airlines are
business
Fix the agreement mistake
businesses
show examples
 that require human resources,
such
Linking Words
 as flight
attendant
Fix the agreement mistake
attendants
show examples
,
pilot
Fix the agreement mistake
pilots
show examples
, etc. The
less route
Fix the agreement mistake
fewer routes
show examples
 they offer to customers, the
less
Fix the agreement mistake
fewer
show examples
 human
resource
Fix the agreement mistake
resources
show examples
 they need
and
Correct word choice
which
show examples
 may cause massive
unemployements
Correct your spelling
unemployment
.
Additionally
Linking Words
,
'rarity'
Correct article usage
the 'rarity'
show examples
 of flying routes may affect
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
its increasing price. Another point of view to consider is the customer's view
,
Punctuation problem
;
show examples
 there are some jobs that require lots of travelling,
such
Linking Words
 as sales and marketing. In spite of that,
not
Correct pronoun usage
it not
show examples
 only
affect
Correct subject-verb agreement
affects
show examples
 airline companies, but
also
Linking Words
 general companies. The disadvantages of the development are way more dominant than the
benefit
Fix the agreement mistake
benefits
show examples
. In my view, to significantly reduce the harm
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
environment
Correct article usage
the environment
show examples
, it is important to encourage billionaires to fly commercial flights. Private jets used by them marked
higher
Correct word choice
more serious
show examples
 damage
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 the environment because
its
Fix the agreement mistake
their
show examples
 capacity is only for several
passangers
Correct your spelling
passengers
. The frequency of private jets
also
Linking Words
need
Correct subject-verb agreement
needs
show examples
 to be limited by regulations.
By being
Change preposition
Being
show examples
wealth
Replace the word
wealthy
show examples
 does not mean they can do inconsiderate things freely. In conclusion, to reduce the negative
environmenyal
Correct your spelling
environmental
 impact of flying, there should be a regulation for private
jets
Fix the agreement mistake
jet
show examples
 operations rather than
individuals
Fix the agreement mistake
individual
show examples
 movement that only
give
Correct subject-verb agreement
gives
show examples
really
Correct article usage
a really
show examples
 small to zero impact.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task
Make your view clear at once and keep it in mind. Give a yes or no to the question in the first 2 lines.
task
Give 2 clear ideas for each side and give one real, easy example for each idea.
coherence
Use a simple plan for you text. Put one idea in one paragraph with a clear line to the next.
coherence
Use easy link words like First, Then, But, Also, So to show how ideas rise and fit.
grammar
Check how you copy words. Fix mis-spell and wrong forms like unemployment, passengers, environment.
content
The text talks about the topic and gives a view.
structure
It ends with a clear conclusion.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • reduce
  • benefits
  • environment
  • pollution
  • travel
  • businesses
  • individuals
  • challenges
  • meetings
  • connections
  • effort
  • manage
  • remotely
  • money
  • stress
  • local
  • culture
  • discovering
  • innovative
  • technology
  • ways
What to do next:
Look at other essays: