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Writing Samples
Band 4

‎ Some people think that young children need to attend nursery before primary ‎school. While others believe young children can spend all day at home. Discuss ‎both views, and give your opinion.‎

Some
parents
Use synonyms
 believe that signing their
children
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to
Change preposition
up for
show examples
nursery
Use synonyms
 before they attend primary
school
Use synonyms
us
Use the right word
is
show examples
nessecary
Correct your spelling
necessary
,
while
Linking Words
 some do not. In my opinion, the
children
Use synonyms
 do not need to spend their
time
Use synonyms
 in
nursery
Use synonyms
school
Use synonyms
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 the
parents
Use synonyms
 should let them enjoy their
time
Use synonyms
 at
home
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
, attending
nursery
Use synonyms
school
Use synonyms
 could help them prepare prior to primary
school
Use synonyms
. First and foremost, signing for
nursery
Use synonyms
 has its
pros
Use synonyms
 and cons. The
parents
Use synonyms
 had to
enroll
Change the spelling
enrol
show examples
 their child
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 it costs quite a
big
Correct word choice
large
show examples
 sum of money.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the
children
Use synonyms
itself
Correct pronoun usage
themselves
show examples
 could
also
Linking Words
felt
Wrong verb form
feel
show examples
 pressured
since
Change preposition
from
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early
Correct article usage
an early
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age
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
 may cause a psychological effect in their teen years,
such
Linking Words
 as depressive disorder.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, attending
nursery
Use synonyms
 could help the
children
Use synonyms
 develop their
brain
Fix the agreement mistake
brains
show examples
 and skills. Those who enrolled at
nursery
Use synonyms
school
Use synonyms
 are believed to be smarter and quicker to learn
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
primary
school
Use synonyms
due to
Linking Words
 the fact that they are learning at their golden
age
Use synonyms
,
whereas
Linking Words
 those who did not attend
nursery
Use synonyms
school
Use synonyms
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 lack the critical and logical thinking at
the
Correct article usage
an
show examples
 early
age
Use synonyms
. Moving
onto
Use the right word
on to
show examples
 the second argument,
children
Use synonyms
 should take their
time
Use synonyms
 at
home
Use synonyms
 24/7 before going to primary
school
Use synonyms
. There are
also
Linking Words
pros
Use synonyms
 and cons to
this
Linking Words
 statement. The
pros
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 are
Use synonyms
children
Correct word choice
that children
show examples
 do not need to feel stressed
due to
Linking Words
 the pressure of learning something new. The
children
Use synonyms
 are all
Change preposition
at in
show examples
in
Use the right word
an
show examples
 early
ages
Fix the agreement mistake
age
show examples
,
hence
Linking Words
 they do not need to consume all the knowledge since those times are the times
where
Correct word choice
when
show examples
 they need to be a child. It is their
time
Use synonyms
 to play, be curious,
finding
Wrong verb form
and find
show examples
 out
things
Use synonyms
, and they can do those
things
Use synonyms
 all at
home
Use synonyms
.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, learning at
home
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strengthen
Correct subject-verb agreement
strengthens
show examples
 their bonds with their family, especially the
parents
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. The
parents
Use synonyms
 get to be more involved in their
Use synonyms
children
Check wording
children's
show examples
 development. Despite the
pros
Use synonyms
, there are
also
Linking Words
 cons to
this
Linking Words
 argument. As I mentioned before, the early
age
Use synonyms
 of
children
Use synonyms
 is their golden
age
Use synonyms
.
Therefore
Linking Words
, some kids who do not
signed
Verb problem
attend
show examples
nursery
Use synonyms
school
Use synonyms
 are a bit slower to catch on
Use synonyms
things
Change preposition
to things
show examples
.
This
Linking Words
 resembles
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
their performances in primary
school
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.
Nevertheless
Linking Words
, they will have to learn harder in primary
school
Use synonyms
 to get on track with the others who
gets
Correct subject-verb agreement
get
show examples
education
Correct article usage
an education
show examples
 before primary
school
Use synonyms
. All in all, I believe that kids should have a
time
Use synonyms
 where they
actually
Verb problem
can actually
show examples
 be a kid, where they play,
finding
Wrong verb form
find
show examples
 out
things
Use synonyms
, and
bonds
Fix the agreement mistake
bond
show examples
 with their
parents
Use synonyms
 at
home
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
, not taking
nursery
Use synonyms
school
Use synonyms
 before attending primary
school
Use synonyms
 will slow
things
Use synonyms
 out for the boys and girls
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
learning
Correct pronoun usage
their learning
show examples
.
Therefore
Linking Words
, I would recommend
the
Correct word choice
that the
show examples
parents
Use synonyms
to
Verb problem
apply
show examples
teach their
children
Use synonyms
 little by little at
the household
Check wording
home
show examples
.

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task response
Plan before you write. Make 4 or 5 clear ideas, each with one small example.
task response
State a clear view in the end. Do not drift from your main idea.
coherence
Make each paragraph start with a simple line that says what the paragraph is about.
coherence
Use linking words to join ideas, and keep sentences short so your flow is smooth.
content
You try to show both sides of the issue and you give your own view.
structure
There is a clear plan with an ending that states a view.
Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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