IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

Many aspects of the way people dress today are influenced by global fashion trends. How has global fashion become such a strong influence on people's lives? Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

Nowadays, dressing style is influenced
in
Change preposition
by
show examples
 different visions
by
Change preposition
of
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
fashion
Use synonyms
 trends all over the world.
In
Change preposition
From
show examples
 my perspective, I suppose that the power of social media and technology is the main effect on the public, and I believe that it is beneficial in some aspects. To address
this
Linking Words
 issue,
firstly
Linking Words
, I would talk about the influence of social media that
make
Correct subject-verb agreement
makes
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people
Use synonyms
's lives of
fashion
Use synonyms
 strongly globalised.
People
Use synonyms
aquire
Correct your spelling
acquire
 information mainly through the platforms of
socail
Correct your spelling
social
 media
such
Linking Words
 as online news,
facebook
Fix capitalization
Facebook
show examples
 or
twitter
Fix capitalization
Twitter
show examples
. It is
spreaded
Correct your spelling
spreading
 dramatically fast just in seconds without the limitation of
nation
Replace the word
national
show examples
boardline
Correct your spelling
borders
.
In addition
Linking Words
, the technology is developing magically,
which
Correct word choice
so
show examples
the
Correct article usage
that
show examples
people
Use synonyms
even can
Correct word order
can even
show examples
 try clothes on
visually
Replace the word
virtually
show examples
 on the screen. One thing
what
Correct word choice
that
show examples
 is worth
mentionning
Correct your spelling
mentioning
 is that the popular stars and celebrities may boost the effect of the global
fashion
Use synonyms
to
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the
people
Use synonyms
 because of their
fam
Use the right word
fame
show examples
. For
examp
Correct your spelling
example
, some of them have
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
online shops
that
Correct word choice
where
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 can decide what to purchase on the fantastic websites. To my knowledge, the consistency of global
fashion
Use synonyms
 makes
simple
Correct article usage
a simple
show examples
 style of
lives
Fix the agreement mistake
life
show examples
, which is a
strenghth
Correct your spelling
strength
 in
this
Linking Words
 aspect. There are many samples that
people
Use synonyms
 can directly choose based on their own preferences, and they do not need to
make
Verb problem
apply
show examples
brainstorms
Correct subject-verb agreement
brainstorm
show examples
on
Change preposition
about
show examples
 how to dress themselves.
However
Linking Words
, it still has
drawback
Correct article usage
a drawback
show examples
that is
Linking Words
people
Use synonyms
 would look
like
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the same and not special.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

language
Fix spell and word use. Use common words.
structure
Make a clear plan at the start and a short end.
task
Give one clear view (positive or negative) and add a small example.
coherence
Link ideas with simple words like first, also, and but.
content
The essay shows the topic and the writer's view.
content
Some ideas are about social media and stars.
Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • global
  • fashion
  • clothes
  • dress
  • wear
  • look
  • style
  • brand
  • label
  • shop
  • price
  • money
  • media
  • ads
  • post
  • like
  • world
  • culture
  • express
  • expression
  • culture
  • work
  • jobs
  • earth
  • environment
  • press
  • pressure
  • spend
  • buy
  • design
  • trend
  • brand
  • celeb
  • celebrity
  • internet
  • online
  • shop
  • social
  • media
  • fashion
  • trend
  • idea
  • choice
  • fit
  • color
  • color
  • cloth
  • fabric
  • hand
  • care
  • harm
  • good
  • bad
  • benefit
  • loss
  • balance
  • relation
  • impact
  • effect
What to do next:
Look at other essays: