IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The charts below show what percentage of their daily intake of various nutrients the average person in the USA consumes in each meal and in snacks. These nutrients may be unhealthy if eaten too much.

The pie charts
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 give the percentage of sodium, saturated fats and added sugar present in the food
comsumed
Correct your spelling
consumed
 by an
american
Fix capitalization
American
show examples
 on
daily
Correct article usage
a daily
show examples
 basis
,
Punctuation problem
.
show examples
 These can lead to deterioration of health if
used
Verb problem
apply
show examples
large quantities
.
Verb problem
are used.
show examples
Overall
Linking Words
, most of them are eaten
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
 dinner, except for added sugar, which is mostly found in snacks. Lesser quantities of these nutrients are taken in breakfast. Salt intake is the highest
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
 dinner, containing 43% of the total, with only 28% in both breakfast and snacks combined. The rest of the 29% is consumed
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
lunch. Saturated fats are mostly present in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
large meals, like lunches and dinners, comprising
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
26% and 37%, respectively. Breakfast
also
Linking Words
 contributes about 21% to the intake of fats. Comparatively, added
sugar
Fix the agreement mistake
sugars
show examples
 are seen more in snacks than in the bigger portions of food in the day. A major amount of 42% of glucose is consumed alone in the snacking time, followed by almost half of its amount in the consumed with the
last
Linking Words
 meal of the day. The remaining 37% of the daily ingestion is provided in the morning and
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
noon. In conclusion, these nutrients
Linking Words
although
Punctuation problem
, although
show examples
 essential, can potentially harm our body. It is
therefore
Linking Words
 extremely necessary to keep a check
of
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the quantity used in our meals
around
Change preposition
throughout
show examples
 the day.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "percentage" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "present" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 2 times.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: