IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The bar chart shows the percentage of people who have moved house either in last 3 years,between 3years to 5 years,not within the last 5 years

The chart demonstrates the proportion of moving
house
Use synonyms
 in four age groups and three
duations
Correct your spelling
durations
.
Overall
Linking Words
,
Correct article usage
the 40's
show examples
40's
Check wording
40s
show examples
 age
group
Use synonyms
 is the most willing to change
house
Use synonyms
 between 3 and 5
years
Use synonyms
 ago
Linking Words
while
Punctuation problem
, while
show examples
50
Correct article usage
the 50
show examples
 or
elder
Use the right word
older
show examples
group
Use synonyms
 is the
less
Replace the word
least
show examples
desirable
Correct word choice
willing
show examples
 to live
a
Change preposition
in a
show examples
new
house
Use synonyms
 in the
last
Linking Words
 5
years
Use synonyms
.
According to
Linking Words
 the chart,
Correct article usage
the 40's
show examples
40's
Check wording
40s
show examples
 age
group
Use synonyms
 reached a peak at 55 in moving
house
Use synonyms
 from 3 to 5
years
Use synonyms
 ago, but the rest groups revealed
samilar
Correct your spelling
similar
 performances at 45, 44 and 41 at
20's
Check wording
20s
show examples
,
30's
Correct your spelling
30s
 and 50 or above,respectively.
Moreover
Linking Words
, during
chaning
Correct your spelling
changing
house
Use synonyms
 in the
last
Linking Words
 3
years
Use synonyms
, the younger
group
Use synonyms
also
Linking Words
 showed
Correct article usage
a samilar
show examples
samilar
Correct your spelling
similar
 trend. The 50 or older
people
Check wording
apply
show examples
express
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
less
willing
Replace the word
willingness
show examples
 to change
house
Use synonyms
 at 17.
Finally
Linking Words
, the
20's
Correct your spelling
20s
 and
30's
Correct your spelling
30s
 people both reached
at
Change preposition
apply
show examples
22 for not moved
house
Use synonyms
 in the
last
Linking Words
 5
years
Use synonyms
. At the same time, 40's
individuals
Correct your spelling
40-year-olds
 had the lowest desire at 14. In
contract
Use the right word
contrast
show examples
, the oldest
group
Use synonyms
 experienced the highest undesired to
chaning
Correct your spelling
changing
 living place in the
last
Linking Words
 5
years
Use synonyms
. In conclusion,
40's
Check wording
40s
show examples
 people
illustrated
Verb problem
were
show examples
 the most motivated to live in
new
Correct article usage
a new
show examples
 place
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
3 to 5
years
Use synonyms
 ago.
In addition
Linking Words
, the oldest
group
Use synonyms
 was not likely to move in the
last
Linking Words
 5
years
Use synonyms
.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "last".
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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words house, group, years with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "change" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "moved" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "reached" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • percentage
  • people
  • moved
  • house
  • last
  • years
  • factors
  • decisions
  • trends
  • opportunities
  • family
  • needs
  • stability
  • financial
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